Betty's Oscar Thoughts On 2011's Ten "Best Picture" Nominees
This year's flicks include lots of True Tales, always my fav kind of movie after a Gene Kelly musical, but this is a crappy lot!  I say skip them all and rent Knight and Day!  And how did Alice in Wonderland get bumped by The Kids Are All Right?  Here's my two cents, for your viewing pleasure:

Betty’s Best Picture Wish: The Fighter: 3 Betty Stars (The Fighter Trailer)

Also Nominated For: Directing, Editing, Original Screenplay, Best Supporting Actor (Christian Bale), Best Supporting Actress (Amy Adams), Best Supporting Actress (Melissa Leo).

The Fighter is my pick for Best Picture, but it has about as much chance of winning as my fav last year: Invictus (awesome!).  I'm rooting for The Fighter because I'm a sucker for an underdog story...the story of how Marky Mark worked his hot ass for 10 years to make a movie about his hometown heroes Dicky Eklund and Micky Ward!  Plus, I'm a sucker for any low-budget True Tale shot on location where the nutty people depicted in the movie show up on set to torment the crew; At a recent screening Amy Adams said that the real life Charlene Fleming she plays in the movie had this to say after watching filming Day One: "So, I'm a fucking prostitute in this movie?".  But I choose The Fighter as this year's Best Movie just because (unlike all the other films nominated this year) I got a kick out of the characters in The Fighter.  They're the kind of people who, as my dad used to day, you'd want in the car on one of those long road trips from LA to San Francisco via Highway 5 (my dad's litmus test for "good people".)

Plot: This True Tale reveals how two sweaty, ne'er-do-well bros from blue collar Lowell, Massachusetts battle their way through family dysfunctions on the road to a welterweight title fight that upsets the world of boxing.
Pluses: A fun underdog tale that nearly ranks as a classic thanks to one outstanding feature: bad boy genius Oscar-nominee Christian Bale as charismatic crackhead Dickie Eklund: Bale's performance alone makes this film a must-see; Cute Amy "Princess Giselle" Adams as the barmaid who out-bitches her boyfriend's family; Oscar-nominated Melissa Leo as the tough-as-Lee-Press-On-Nails family matriarch; Shot on location in Lowell using many locals, including real-life trainer Mickey O'Keefe playing himself; Rocking soundtrack.
Minuses: Shot in just 33 days by madman David O. Russell, this low-budget film has a chaotic vibe that pulls off a delicious realism, but suffers from dramatic plot points that leave you yawning whenever Marky Mark -- and not Bale -- is the center of the scene: you can't help but feels he's got a shot and a girl waiting back in the trailer.
You’ll Like It If You Like: Gone, Baby, Gone, The Champ (1979), Lars and the Real Girl, The Machinist.

The King’s Speech: 2 Betty Stars (The King's Speech Trailer)
Also Nominated For: Directing, Editing, Cinematography, Original Screenplay, Art Direction, Costume, Score, Sound Mixing, Best Actor (Colin Firth), Best Supporting Actor (Geoffrey Rush), Best Supporting Actress (Helena Bonham Carter).

Plot: The True Tale of how (otherwise historically boring) stuttering King George VI accepted the help of a commoner to deliver (what was apparently) the highlight of his reign: a speech to rally his people as the UK entered WWII. 
Pluses: Charming Colin Firth as King George; Quirky Goeffrey Rush as his rebel speech therapist; Porcelain-skinned Helena Bonham Carter as George's wife (the Queen Mother); Quixotic Guy Pearce as the rascal King Edward; The Oscar-nominated fashions of Jenny "Sherlock Holmes" Beavan.
Minuses: A story you'd find fascinating as told at a dinner party by Alan Rickman, but as a two-hour movie, not so much.  This moment in the life of King George is so boring, in fact, star Colin Firth says even English school kids are never taught it.  If you find the trailer (above) as boring as I do, you'll be bored by this film.  According to the Box Office reports, you've already made the mistake of seeing this one, but if not, I say skip it and rent the movie that should have earned Colin Firth an Oscar, A Single Man, the ultra-gay, ultra-heartbreaking film by fashionista Tom Ford about the day in the life of a proper 60s English teacher who learns his long-time lover has died...or rent King’s Speech director Tom Hooper’s more interesting Brit True Tale about mouthy soccer coach Brian Clough, “Damn United” (starring crackling Michael Sheen).
You’ll Like It If You Like: The Young Victoria, Sense and Sensibility, Shakespeare in Love; Hats.

The Social Network: 2 Betty Stars (Social Network Trailer)

Also Nominated For: Directing, Editing, Cinematography, Adapted Screenplay, Score, Sound Mixing, Best Actor (Jesse Eisenberg).

Plot: The True Tale of how an (otherwise historically boring) Harvard geek gets sued for profits after creating this decade's most important digital revolution: FaceBook.
Pluses: Directed by hit-or-miss genius David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en…Benjamin Button); Written by Aaron Sorkin (West Wing, A Few Good Men); Fun work by Jesse Eisenberg as annoyingly certain FaceBook founder Marc Zuckerberg; Hilarious work by cutie Armie Hammer as both Winklevoss twins; Fun music cues.
Minuses: The filmmakers made the mistake of capturing the amazing moment in history that is the launch of FaceBook as the story of a bunch of privileged kids bickering over money...instead of the far more riveting stories of how FaceBook turned the bourgoise into social media addicts, how FaceBook launched a democratic revolution in the Middle East...or even how founder Zuckerberg ended up with his hot, long-time girlfriend after this.  Instead, all you get is a lot of whiners in hoodies and a lot of chicks in their underwear.  If you made the mistake of seeing it, amuse yourself with this.  I say  skip it and Kindle the Ben Mezrich book Accidental Millionaires, on which the movie is based, or Mezrich's Bringing Down the House, the story of MIT students who took on Vegas that Social Network producer Kevin Spacey made into the more exciting movie 21
You’ll Like It If You Like: Catch Me If You Can, Good Will Hunting, School Ties, Adventureland, FarmVille.

Inception: 3 Betty Stars (Inception Trailer)

Also Nominated For: Cinematography, Original Screenplay, Art Direction, Score, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Visual Effects.

Plot: In this ambitious Sci-Fi movie, a team of futuristic thieves who sneak into the dreams of corporate execs to steal trade secrets decide to take on the ambitious assignment of implanting ideas into their marks' dreams, taking them to dangerous levels of dream intervention.
Pluses: This 10-year pet project of director Christopher Nolan (who made indie fame with Momento and box office bank with The Dark Knight) is an exciting marriage of cinema FX and sci-fi head games, from the scene where the streets of Paris fold up like a map during a dream exercise to the idea that hero Leonardo DiCaprio might ruin it for everyone thanks to creepy issues surrounding his wife's suicide; Overall, great mind game fun.
Minuses: When you're telling a sci-fi story that hinges on twisting the rules of reality, you need to set up clear gaming rules so everyone knows how to root for the hero's escape, but the rules of this game morph every 20 minutes, making it hard to follow the hero's exit strategy; For such an futuristic movie, we sure spend a lot of time in the kind of abandoned warehouses you find on basic cable; The main cast is populated by the tiny likes of DiCaprio, Ellen "Juno" Page, and Joseph "Third Rock" Gordon-Levitt, leaving you haunted by the fear of sassy 12-year-olds running amok in your dreams.
You’ll Like It If You Like: Momentum, Dark City, What Dreams May Come, Minority Report, Lucid dreaming.

127 Hours: 3 Betty Stars (127 Hours Trailer)

Also Nominated For: Editing, Adapted Screenplay, Score, Song, Best Actor (James Franco).

Plot: Described by director Danny "Slumdog" Boyle as "an action movie with a guy who can't move", this True Tale stars James Franco as cheerful, extreme sports enthusiast Aron Ralston who heads out for a day hike in Utah's Canyonlands and ends up stuck in a skinny pass when a falling boulder pins his arm so tightly that amputation seems his only means of escape.
Pluses: Directed by clever Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, Trainspotting, 28 Days Later), the only elf who could make it exciting to see the usually listless James Franco costarring with a rock; Co-written by Simon Beaufoy, who wrote Slumdog and two other Brit classics: The Full Monty and Blow Dry; Oscar-nominated Score and Song by A.R. Rahman; Despite dismemberment and two hours of Franco, this movie has a surprisingly satisfying aftertaste.
Minuses: Like poor Ralston, you're stuck with little else than rocks for the duration of the tale.
You’ll Like It If You Like:  Vertical Limit, Alive, Deck Dogz, Gerry.

Toy Story 3: 2 Betty Stars (Toy Story 3 Trailer)

Also Nominated For: Adapted Screenplay, Song, Sound Editing, Animated Feature.

Plot:  When Andy heads off to college and all his beloved toys get donated to a daycare center, Pixar delivers a classic prison break movie as the toys struggle to make a break for the safety of Andy's attic.
Pluses: Pixar; Michael Keaton as evil Ken; a new classic in the prison break genre: Big Baby.
Minuses: While your kids watch this Pixar classic over and over and over and over again, you won't be able to escape any latent issues of childhood abandonment and/or fear of being burned alive.  Not quite as good as the hype, but your kids won't know that, so you'll have no say in the matter.
You’ll Like It If You Like: Everything Pixar, Le Trou, Supernanny.

Black Swan: 2 Betty Stars (Black Swan Trailer)
Also Nominated For: Directing, Editing, Cinematography, Best Actress (Natalie Portman).

Plot: The dark side of a manic ballerina comes looking for her when she tries to land the part of the Swan Queen.
Pluses: Natalie Portman wanted the lead in this movie so desperately she trained for a year before the film even had funding, ultimately bringing to her character a highly realistic/scary body weight and the really creepy look of crazed artistic ambition and a deep-seated fear of cheeseburgers; French star Vincent Cassel as the choreographer who would make you crazy even if you had plenty to eat; The 40 ballet costumes designed by sisters Kate and Laura Mulleavy of the Rodarte fashion line; The now infamous Black Swan make-up created by Judy Chin.
Minuses: Directed by Darren Aronofsky, who brought you the sweaty, male, angst-ridden film The Wrestler, this is little more than a View Master version of Young Girl Madness set in the visually-friendly world of ballet.  Even the gays are hating on it!  Then again, it's a low budget indie with a simple, strong point of view, so it did the job any indie film should do...just not quite the job of an Oscar-winner.
You’ll Like It If You Like:  the Twilight movies, The Red Shoes, Single White Female, Susperia.

The Kids Are Alright: 3 Betty Stars (Kids Are All Right Trailer)
Also Nominated For: Original Screenplay, Best Actress (Annette Bening), Best Supporting Actor (Mark Ruffalo).

Plot: An unconventional family of four -- two moms with an artificially inseminated teenage son and daughter -- find their liberal values put to the test when the daughter, about to head off for college, tracks down her sperm donor.
Pluses: Realism flows effortlessly throughout this honest film, thanks to the lovely work of brilliant acting vets Julianne Moore and Annette Bening as a couple wading through the everyday struggles of a longtime marriage.
Minuses: It's both fun and annoying that mumbling sperm donor Mark Ruffalo happens to run an organic restaurant where all the furniture is handcrafted by elven folk, and both fun and annoying to watch him win over each of the kids with his non-lesbian ways; Despite the charm, you walk away with an overall feeling of "Meh"; Seriously, this over Alice in Wonderland?
You’ll Like It If You Like: Flirting With Disaster, Ordinary People, We Don't Live Here Anymore, All Over Me .

Winter's Bone: 2 Betty Stars (Winter's Bone Trailer)
Also Nominated For: Adapted Screenplay, Best Actress (Jennifer Lawrence), Best Supporting Actor (John Hawkes).

Plot: A dirt-poor teen from the ruralest of rural Missouri facing the loss of custody of her starving siblings and their broke-down home begins a Vision Quest through local trailer parks populated by crackheads in search of her no-good dad.
Pluses: Winner, Sundance Best Screenplay and Grand Jury Prize; Refreshingly un-Hollywood newcomer Oscar-nominee Jennifer Lawrence; No pigs, crackheads, or folk singers were hurt in the making of this movie.
Minuses: Although lauded by critics as not only "mystical" but downright "mythical", this one sailed right over my head: watching it made me want to take a bath and head to the Santa Monica Promenade to buy some pretty new clothes; The only thing more annoying than the grueling, authentic regional music that never ends is the film's gray, gray-blue, dark gray palette; Rent it if you have lots of Trader Joe's organic antidepressants on hand.
You’ll Like It If You Like: Cold Mountain, Frozen River, Waitress, A Little Trip to Heaven, the OWN Network.

True Grit: 0 Betty Stars (True Grit Trailer)
Also Nominated For: Directing, Cinematography, Adapted Screenplay, Art Direction, Costume, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Best Actor (Jeff Bridges), Best Supporting Actress (Hailee Steinfeld).

Plot: Based (directors Joel and Ethan Coen insist) not on the 1969 movie starring John Wayne but the 1968 novel by Charles Portis, a world-weary U.S. Marshal agrees to help a stubborn frontier teen track down the man who killed her father.
Pluses: ...seriously, I have no idea.  This movie looks SO boring!  I'll never see it!

See You At The Oscars!

Here's an email I sent to Mom to win her over to my side of the Ground Zero "mosque" controversy (I say build it):

-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Blozan
Sent: Thursday, August 19, 201011:41 PM
To: Mom
Subject: Take my Arab Haters quiz!

Fun With Numerology:

Here's a mess of pix from a night out with Miss P soaking up great music and a great vibe at Alex's bar in Long Beach...

Alex's bouncer asked to pose with Miss P!

I'd never been to Alex's, actually hadn't been back to Long Beach since they tore down the Foothill and replaced it with condos...so it took the lure of knowing that my all-time favorite swing dancing partner, Adrian Demain, would be driving up from San Diego to play with the Bonebrake Syncopaters (sitting in for TK Smith) to get me out of my PJ's on on the freeway to make it to Alex's.

Well worth the drive!

Yes, there is an Alex

Great local audience totally open to any and all music...


Tonight I was accompanied by the charming David Arnson of the surf band the Insect Surfers...

Dave and Joanna of 3Ball "The Biggest Loser" Productions in Redondo.

On our way to the show, me and Dave spied a turquoise cowboy on the side of the road surrounded by five Long Beach cop cars...took it as a fateful sign of Long Beach sans the Foothill...but were delighted to find that the turquoise cowboy had escaped the coppers and made it to Alex's...


Charming turquoise cowboy Will Lewellyn, Naomi, and turquoise cowboy friend

Took it as a sign that the muses wanted me to take another step forward w/ my idea of a doc about the Swinging Cowboy bands of LA (especially when I learned that the turquoise cowboy had had his suit custom made by Javier of Hollywood, none other than a protégé of Nudie!)...that and chatting w/ Dave Stuckey of the Syncopaters, who's not only a darling but a brilliant resource on the subject...

The stars all seemed aligned tonight, everyone running into old friends, lots of great music, and cowboys everywhere you turned!

Cowboy Will Lewellyn even bought Miss P a Pabst!

The Bonebrake Syncopaters rocked the 20-somethings with their 30's hot jazz swing performed by what can only be described as the best musicians in the genre in all of LA County.  Get a nice taste of the Syncopaters in this YT clip from the Redwood Bar in downtown LA (with DJ on vibes, TK Smith on guitar, Jeremy Wakefield on steel guitar, Wally Hersom on bass, and Dave Stuckey on drums)

Adrian Demain and Jeremy Wakefield rocking Topsy


Adrian Demain


Dave Stuckey was in his usual fine form tonight and wooed one and all


DJ and Wally Hersom vibbing up the joint


DJ Whiteboy James swinging' to the Syncopaters


The crowd tonight


LA Music Academy student sporting his "snake bite" piercings


3Ball's Joanna and friend Jennifer, an old skool rockabilly from the early 80s


Alex's doorman and Miss P


Alex's bathroom

During the break, Miss P spied a hair clip she just had to have! 

A little rockabilly, a little Mighty Boosh!


Miss P bought a headband from hair artist Erica Acotsa...and her manservant

Then...Burlesque!





Dave Arnson and the burlesque MC's


Burlesque fans


All the booty that's fit to print

The muses made their point when they brought out the cowgirl burlesque!


But most love for the night went to Mr. Kees for not only finding my wallet, but tracking me down to return it!

Thanks Mistahkees!

See y'all at the jukebox!

Not "Rebel Beat" screening, but without a doubt a great night for guitars, guzzlin' and gals!

Last Sat "Rebel Beat" screened at the "Automobile Driving Museum" in El Segundo...one of the worst EVER attended screenings of "Rebel Beat"...but a great night of music thanx to rockers Danny Dean, Phil Friendly, and the Crown City Bombers...and for me a great night to remember why I love me those women who love their rockabilly men!

All in all, glad I got out of my PJ's and left the house!

El Segundo's obscure "Automobile Driving Museum" is without a doubt the worst-ever named tourist destination, but a pretty nifty place to have an event...

...with over 70 mint-condition classic cars on display...


Driving Museum millionaire founder and car enthusiast Earl and his event manager Jeff are sweethearts:


And everything in their cafe goes for a buck!


Sat night our menu included Danny Dean and drummer Jerry Davidson who played after the Rebel Beat screening:

I'd never heard Danny before and was blown away by his oh-so-zexy voice, especially his version of "Ring of Fire"!  Angela, promise me you'll follow thru and get Danny to put that one down on tape!  Mah-yan!

Danny Dean's bassist Jack DeBaun also brought plento o' zexy to the set:


After Danny, Euro rockabilly star Phil Friendly took over:

Phil rockin the Dale Hawkins classic "Suzy Q"...shot this photo for you, Louie!

Phil had none other than Russell Scott on bass that night.  I'm an addict of Russell's sultry voice...so really excited when Russell sang solo for the Ray Charles classic "I Got A Woman"...



After the show, Phil and Russell continued jamming Ray Charles' classics on the piano.

But have to say my favorite part of the night was meeting the chicks behind the music...esp Phil Friendly's wife Camille:

She looks so innocent, doesn't she?

It was a great night of raw rock and good times, but I drove home tipsy most happy about the awesome chicks I'd met that night, starting with Phil's wife Camille, a classic rocker babe on the outside but a classic Betty hero on the inside!

Here's what makes Miss Camille the ideal musician's wife: First, she's adorable!  Can't go wrong showing up at your gig with a pretty girl.  Second, girlfriend's got a fulltime job!  Camille teaches second-grade at an LA County magnet school (that means she teaches the smart kids!).  Third, Camille lets her hubbie's Texas music idols spend the night at their house!  Namely, legendary rockabilly Mac Curtis.  "Well," says Camille", "He passed the test.  He's a genuine sweetheart!"

Fourth, guess who's in charge of all the $$?

That's right, Phil didn't touch the family funds all night!

But best of all, that sweet looking gal actually nicked drunks from another event to beef up her man's audience!  Our event wasn't exactly well attended, last minute promotion and all that.  It didn't bother me at all that there were more people at a private birthday party in the Museum then there were at our show, but Camille wouldn't stand for it   I was on my third beer when tiny Camille came pulling at the sleeve of my jacket.

"Okay, I was just in the bathroom and there were some girls in there who are pretty drunk.  Let's get 'em!"  I was horrified at the idea of nicking people from another event to beef up our party, but Camille was ready to raid another Driving Museum party just to beef up her man's show.  Next thing I knew, I was standing behind Camille trying to convince a mess of drunk girls from the Valley to party to some rockabilly.

Half of those birthday party gals ended up throwing up in the Driving Museum bathroom, but seriously, what more could a musician ask for in a wife?

Me luvs me some "whatever it takes" Camille!

After hubbie Phil's set, we all drove over to the Purple Orchid in Old Town El Segundo to party with the Crown City Bombers of Long Beach...

...where I met another awesome "I'm With the Band" babe...

Lilla (left), the girl behind Crown City Bomber front man Dave Bertiz, here snuggling with Crown City Bombers' vocalist Mandy McMilian.  Lilla, a stylist from Australia, is a charming gal who added a lot to my night with the Crown City Bombers!

Then there was Rebecca, owner of The Purple Orchid Tiki Bar, a Mattel exec who rescued this historic El Segundo night spot just for the hell of it:

Purple Orchid owners Rebeca and Dave

Rebecca's a Venice native who'd been looking for a Tiki bar to rescue for years...
...and made the Purple Orchid a beach bar classic!


I knew it was love for me when the bartender served me my tequila shot with an umbrella!


Have to say, it's the first place in LA to bring back memories of the Belly Up!

...where the swing dancers wear flip-flops...
 
...and Uggs...while smoking cigarettes.  Swingles be damned!

Crown City Bombers' front man Dave Bertiz rocked my favorite songs...

...giving it his all thru three sets...


Everyone had a great night, including Dave's Lilla who danced all night long.


Driving Museum Rockabilly Fest Organizer Joel Kellum and Phil Friendly:


Insect Surfers front man Dave Arnson in da houze!

Stay tuned for more El Segundo rockabilly nights!

Come hang out with me in El Segundo Saturday!  The Automobile Driving Museum is throwing a Rockabilly Festival this weekend featuring a screening of my doc "Rebel Beat" plus live music from two young rockabillies, plus 70 gorgeous cars on display!

El Segundo Rockabilly Festival
Sat, Feb 20, 5:30 - 10:30 PM
Admission: $10
The Automobile Driving Museum
5:30: "Rebel Beat: The Story of LA Rockabilly"
7:30 - 10:30: Live music from Danny Dean and Phil Friendly
10:30 - 1AM: After party at Purple Orchid Tiki Bar
Family friendly!

#1: Screening: "Rebel Beat: The Story of LA Rockabilly"

The only documentary to chronicle LA's oldest underground music scene.

#2: Meet director Elizabeth Blozan and get a signed copy of the "Rebel Beat" DVD.

#3: Live Music by Danny Dean and the Homewreakers

A cute boy who keeps rockabilly real.

#4: Live Music by Phil Friendly

Another cutie making waves all over the world.

#5: Some of the Most Beautiful Cars in the World

Including this 1950 Studebaker Landcruiser and a 1936 Packard owned by Stalin.  See all the cars.

#6: Cheap Eats & Drinks
The museum's own diner will be open and there will also be a full bar.

#7: Plenty of free parking in El Segundo's industrial district


#8: Unbelievably lush high-style design details


#9: Hard-to-find items to add to that model car collection your ex-wife doesn't understand.


#10: Purple Orchid Tiki After Party in Old Town El Segundo

When we wrap up at the Driving Museum, we're all going over to the Purple Orchid Tiki Bar for tropical cocktials and even more live rockabilly featuring Crown City Bombers from Long Beach.  NO COVER!
 
Purple Orchid
221 Richmond St
El Segundo, CA 90245
(310) 322-5829

Once again, I humbly submit my reviews of this year's Oscar bait flicks (click on any title to see the trailer).  Based on what I'm reading in the trades, if you go by my choices you'll lose the office pool!  Whether my favorites win or not, this was a great year for black folk, tough chicks, and film fans!


Betty's Oscar Wish List:

BEST PICTURE: "INVICTUS"
"We're more than just a rugby team now, and we better get used to it."



I'm no fan of director Clint Eastwood.  I find his films slow and maudlin, like listening to Grandpa yammer on about the good old days.  BUT when it comes to the AMAZING TRUE STORY of how Nelson Mandela enlisted South Africa's crappy rugby team to heal his nation's bloody past, turns out an old man is just what you need.  You'll be thankful to sit at Grandpa Eastwood's knee and soak up every thoughtful moment of this inspiring true tale.  Just like Slumdog Millionaire last year, by the time the credits roll you'll be wiping away the tears saying, "Do it again!  Do it again!"

Plot: The amazing true story of how newly-elected South Africa President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) convinced his nation's scrappy rugby team to shoot for a World Cup...and unite a nation.

Pluses: Costars impressive juggling patriot Matt Damon as butch yet soulful team captain Francois Pienaar; Filmed entirely in South Africa; Brief but satisfying shot of a topless Matt Damon.

Minuses:  Despite the film's attention to detail, you won't understand rugby or any of the dialogue.

You'll Like It If You Like: Slumdog Millionaire, Rudy, Chariots of Fire, Breaking Away, Gallipoli.
 
Betty Sez: See it in theaters for a great night out or rent it on DVD and use the subtitle function to find out what the hell everyone is saying.  But see this one!


BEST DIRECTOR: JAMES CAMERON: "AVATAR"
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are not in Kansas anymore"

In 1939, The Wizard of Oz blew away audiences when it dropped Dorothy in a Technicolor Oz.  This year, Avatar director James Cameron blew away the world with his 3D version of the mythical planet Pandora.  Cameron convinced Hollywood to invest $400 million in new cameras and software to manifest Pandora, and we here living off his hubris are thrilled that the man who created Aliens, Terminator, and Titanic seems to have -- once again -- lured people away from their home theaters for a night out at the picture show.

All you need to know is that Avatar is fun!  (Also, this is pretty funny.)

Plot: A tough Marine who lost the use of his legs gets a second chance on the front lines when he inhabits a giant clone designed to take down a beautiful alien culture, only to find himself wondering which world to fight for.

Pluses: A fantasy thrill-ride full of adventure and awesome chicks, including Cameron fav Sigourney Weaver as the smartest guy in the room and Star Trek's Zoe Saldana as a buff princess.

Minuses: Despite the nature-based values of Cameron's Pandora, Avatar's final conflict comes down to a typical firefight led by Whitie.  We pagan goddesses say "Meh".

You'll Like It If You Like: Having eyes.

Betty Sez:  Be sure to see this in the theater in 3D!


BEST ACTRESS/SUPPORTING ACTRESS: "PRECIOUS"
"You're 16, you're still in junior high school, and you're pregnant with your second child.  Is that correct, Clarice?"

Skanky ghetto life, teen pregnancy, welfare fraud, and incest: Sounds like about as much fun as being hit in the head with a hammer.  So not so!  This smartly-crafted indie flick is like a five-course gourmet meal served up by a master chef.  You'll leave the theater feeling satisfied, inspired, and eager to tell your friends all about it.

Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire was directed by Lee Daniels, the jazzy Manhattan hipster who produced Monster's Ball (one of my favorite films, responsible for the historic and moving moment when Halle Berry became the first African-American to win a Best Actress Oscar).  Under Daniels' loving gaze, the tough story of Clarice Precious Jones becomes both documentary and poem, both confessor and priest to a hidden part of the American psyche, a song of love that leaves you feeling blessed and inspired.

Best Actress: Gabby Sidibe

First-timer Gabby Sidibe just might be the only girl on earth with the subway ticket to Clarice Precious Jones.  She's so good, in fact, it's hard to believe she's acting.  To see why she deserves the Best Actress Oscar, watch Gabby as her bubbly true self on "Ellen".

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique
    
Thanks to director Lee Daniels, the comedian Mo'Nique appears in Precious as one of cinema's greatest villains, abusive mom "Mary".  To appreciate just how much acting ass Mo'Nique kicks in "Precious", watch real life Mo'Nique sparkle on "Ellen".

Plot: The world expands in beautiful ways for a shy Harlem teen who joins an alternative school.

Pluses:  Winner of the Grand Jury and Audience Favorite awards at Sundance; Impressive celebrities (including Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz) show up to shine their knowing light on the story.

Minuses: Director Lee Daniels adds mental white space to Precious with fantasy sequences and pleasant shots of his beautiful supporting cast, but this is a classic fairytale trek into the dark wood, so pack your mental rucksack.

You'll Like It If You Like: Monster's Ball, To Sir With Love, The Miracle Worker, Amalie.


BEST ACTOR: COLIN FIRTH: "A SINGLE MAN"
"This is kind of a serious day for me."

Not to be confused with "A Serious Man", the Cohen Brothers' flick about Jews in 1960, A Single Man is about gays in 1960, starring Colin Firth.  We girls love Colin Firth in Bridget Jones and Mama Mia, but Firth is at his sexy best in this art house flick directed by Gucci fashionista Tom Ford, an artful performance that can only be compared to an Aboriginal chakra massage.  You'll be glad you did.

Plot: Heartbroken by the death of his partner, a suicidal English professor sees the world anew on what might -- or might not -- be the last day of his life (see the film's annoying trailer here).

Pluses: Costars lovely Matthew Goode as Firth's charming partner and talented Julianne Moore out-acting a high-style bouffant.

Minuses: Endless slow-mo shots make it impossible not to make cracks about Calvin Klein perfume ads; Apparently 1960's Santa Monica has no bears; Colin Firth will ruin you for all other men.

You'll Like It If You Like:  Alfie (the good one), Brokeback Mountain, Before Sunrise, The Deep, The Piano, Modern art museums, Colin Firth.

Betty Sez: Rent it and enjoy your time with Colin Firth in private.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: CHRISTOPH WALTZ: "INGLORIOUS BASTERDS"
"What a tremendously hostile world a rat must endure."

I say Basturds if overrated, but Waltz shines as a villain I'd like to fick.  Read my original review


OVERRATED!
There's nothing wrong with these films (except Nine), but I have no idea why they're getting so much attention.  See these on DVD without missing a thing.

THE HURT LOCKER

Feral cats, wise-crackin' kids, and shaky cameras provide the "realism" for this film about soldiers on bomb squad duty in Iraq.  Apologies to hot bomb diffuser Jeremy Renner, but in my humble opinion all the attention being paid to Hurt Locker can be credited to the fact that America is determined to stay very, very unconscious of its karmic debt in the Middle East.

This is a "war film" for people who don't want to deal with war, as Hurt Locker has about as much to do with Iraq as Good Will Hunting has to do with math.  Eroneously heralded by director Katheryn Bigelow's ex James Cameron as "the Platoon of the Iraq war", the only thing this film adds to the annals of war film is the term "bomb porn".  The whole story could take place in New Jersey without missing a beat.  Expect nothing but a string of scenes rigged with fear and you kept at a safe distance from any true insight.  You'll like it if you like Backdraft, Payback, Se7en, 24, reuptake inhibitors, or Sarah Palin.

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent either of these better bomb movies: Blown Away or Paradise Now.


UP IN THE AIR

If, say, someone like Daniel Craig or Ashton Kutcher had starred in this film about a perpetually single, urbane, 40-something dude who only comes to crave hearth and home after a bunch of perky gals invade his life, I'd be impressed with the "acting".  But perpetually single, urbane, 40-something George Clooney?  As if!  Directed by the same snarky Jason Reitman who brought you Juno, you'll like this film if you like The Squid and the Whale, The Terminal, Oceans 11, singer/songwriters, or sweater sales at The Gap.

Critics are mewing over young costar Anna Kendrick, but it's yummy Vera Farmiga that makes this cliché of white America worth watching.  Enjoy Farmiga in this interview with the only person who wouldn't want to shtupp her after seeing "Up in the Air".

Betty Sez: Rent it for a dull night in, but only as a double feature with Reitman's Thank You For Smoking or Clooney's better bitter turn as Michael Clayton.


THE BLIND SIDE

Basically an After School Special with a nice rack, Blind Side tells the true story of how  Memphis socialite Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) rescues a giant black teen and proves that -- with enough money and moxie -- even scary black folk can succeed.  Ironically, if Blind Side actually were an After School Special, the excessive stereotypes and paint-by-number denouements wouldn't bother you at all!  You'd enjoy kicking back on the couch with a bag of chips and soaking up this amazing true tale!

Real-life NFL star Michael Oher and Memphis Socialite Leigh Anne Tuohy

But in the theater Blind Side can't quite compete with a real "film", and Bullock's contribution is far from Oscar-worthy.  Here's how to play at home: Just imagine any number of other "actresses with moxie" in the leading role -- Diane Lane, Maria Bello, or even a slightly aged Reese Witherspoon.  You'd have the exact same satisfaction.  Yet no one else could play Julia Childs like Meryl Streep or Precious Jones like Gabby Sidibe.

Blind Side is not a bad film, just not a Best Oscar film.  You'll like it if you like Two Weeks Notice, Erin Brockovich, Driving Miss Daisy, or Cool Runnings.

Betty Sez: Rent it as a fun family double feature along with A League of Their Own and the new J. Crew catalog.


NINE

This trailer-friendly flick about a film director searching his Jungian "tool" box is so bad it's not even worth mocking.  Mad hot love for Marion and Daniel, but wait for the only parts you need to see to show up on YouTube in full-length clips: Fergie doing "Be Italian" and Penelope doing "Call From the Vatican".  If forced to watch it at a dinner party, slyly press "mute" during Cinema Italiano to enjoy Kate Hudson's ass without having to listen to her "sing".

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent any of these nine better musicals about vexxed artists: Cabaret, La Vie En Rose, Beyond The Sea, All That Jazz, 42nd Street, Velvet Goldmine, Singing In the Rain, Stormy Weather, or Jail House Rock.


THE HANGOVER

Not bad, but no funnier than I Love You, Man or Extract, not to mention Jud Apatow's Funny People, which is not only funny but also nearly deep.  All four will tickle the gin-suppressed fancy of middle-aged white guys wondering how they ended up in the suburbs.  For you gals who breed for them, laugh along, then make a pitcher of margaritas and watch Clueless again.  RIP Brittany.  We love you.


Well Worth Seeing:

UP

Another adorable Pixar project, this time featuring America's first animated Asian star (cynics like me will enjoy this mashup of Up as Gran Tarino).

THE COVE

Winner of my all-time favorite pull quote: "A cross between Flipper and the Bourne Identity."  Also, winner of the Sundance Documentary Audience Award.  Far from neutral, but a great caper flick about butch environmentalists capturing illegal footage of an annual Japanese dolphin slaughter.

DISTRICT 9

A South African bureaucrat befriends oppressed aliens in this fantastic mix of action, acting, and art produced by Peter "Lord of the Rings" Jackson.  Read my original review.

BIG FAN

A fun, bleak, art house flick about a football fanatic beat up by his favorite player.  Directed by the writer of The Wrestler and starring comic Patton Oswalt.  Read my original review.

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN AMERICA

A thinking man's "Revenge of the Nerds" chronicling how war architect Daniel Ellsberg brought the Vietnam War to a halt by sneaking a top secret report the American press.  Read my original review.

See y'all at the Oscars!

Ever since the first fall I spent in beautiful Santa Cruz, this time of year has had a strange hold on me.  I think maybe it's because the first fall I spent in Santa Cruz was both my first months of college, where my mind was fitted with its own set of wings, and my first taste of a true autumn.

In Santa Cruz, fall brings wonderful warm rain, an exotic luxury to a kid from the desert of Riverside.  I used to spend hours walking in the rain from my dorm through miles of cow pastures to get to the office of the school paper at the bottom of campus.  It was on one of these walks that I first saw the end of a rainbow, landing right in a cow pasture, turning the green hills pink, yellow, and blue.

I used to spend hours wandering the redwood forest on campus, mesmerized by the sight of bright green ferns against dark red trunks, the sound of water dripping from the high branches, and the scent of the redwoods that only comes out when everything's wet.  It was on those walks that Ben used to spy on me from the branches of a big oak tree, softly reciting his poetry from up in the tree (...took me a while to figure out it wasn't the Oak talking to me).

I know what you suburbanites think of Santa Cruz, but this was all sans drugs.  Just earth!

So now, from the moment the first cold wind snaps at me I am overwhelmed with the desire to run off into the country to be seduced by all that is autumnal and earthy.

Sometimes my crazy fall treks don't work out.  I've had short order cooks at roadside eateries wave knives at me for asking for soup made from home-grown pumpkins, and I've checked into my share of out-of-the-way motels hoping for an idyllic escape, only to realize my neighbors were probably discussing where to hide the body.

But this year's first fall trek wasn't too bad!  Thanks to Steve L., who hooked me up with a great weekend in Santa Barbara, I got a pretty good fix.  Here's a mess of pix from our trip with Miss P:

First Stop: Celebrated vintner Jim Clendenen's bi-annual open house north of Santa Barbara.

On the road: a storm headed our way filled the whole trip with romantic, moody skies!

Steve had just got a "Tom Tom"...so he didn't bring a map...

...so we were lost most of the time!

But after a 2.5-hour, 45-mile trip from downtown Santa Barbara, we finally made it!


The open house is at the Au Bon Climat warehouse, not a tasting room...

...so it was all wide-open and breezy and country air.  And they brought out 100 wines to taste!


Miss P looking for a good white wine...and trying to avoid eye contact with Whole Foods groupies.


Me and Miss P got a little drunk on the hot vintners...

With a case of wine (each) in the trunk, we headed to our second stop:  Cold Springs Tavern, an historic stagecoach stop in Los Padres National Forest.


Every Sunday, Cold Springs hosts a biker/hiker street side blues jam.

How did Leland ever get wise to THIS dealio?  Guess he's more street than I realize!


The menu: cold beer and tri-tip sandwiches.




Board members of the Santa Barbara Co-Op jigging to the blues after a forest retreat.

Next Stop: A hotel on the beach in Santa Barbara.


I chose Best Western Beachside Inn.  Not the fanciest hotel, but I got upgraded to a room with a balcony and a foxy ex-boyfriend who lives in the area:

Dane juggles our dinner date with his busy life as a single dad.

Next morning...

Evidently, Miss P found a white wine she liked!

...despite a few empty bottles, I was up early for a beach hike right outside the hotel.

Black Skimmers and Elegant Terns.

Then Steve and I enjoyed a classic SoCal fall breakfast: an ocean view and snuggly sweaters.

"Little Black" Sambo's...the food sucks, but you have to do it.

Last Stop: Miss P and I hiked to Saddle Rock in Montecito (found this in "Santa Barbara Day Hikes" by Ray Ford, a great book you can pick up at the Visitor Center kiosk on the corner of the ocean front drag Cabrillo and Garden St.)  The hike threads past big-ass Montecito mansions (this is Oprah's Cali hood), then into the lovely foothills:

Oh, the oaks remind me of Santa Cruz!  We didn't see Ben...


But we did find the mysterious hidden "Hot Springs"!

Top of the trail:

Miss P made it to the top, despite her cumbersome garb.


Great view of fall overtaking SoCal.

Most of the wine made it back unopened.

Only thing missing was that home-grown pumpkin I was still craving...

Luckily, I live in Santa Monica!  Two days later came the wonderful rain and...


...a beautiful farm boy bearing organic Santa Barbara pumpkins!

Lovely Julian of Fairview Gardens Farm in Goleta and my pumpkin, at long last!

Carried my pumpkin back home from the farmer's market in my backpack, jumping in puddles all the way.  Happy fall!

"The Most Dangerous Man In America"

Suck it, Mad Men.

Look at me smoking in the steno pool!  I'm so retro!

If you really want to go back to the 60s to find out why then is so different from now, forget Mad Men and see "Dangerous Man".  This true tale about a daring whistleblower who changed American history doesn't star Matt Damon, but it's safe to say Matt would heartily recommend it.


Betty Sez: Free speech rebels are hot!

"We got to get this son of a bitch." -- Richard Nixon

This affectionate recap of how Vietnam War strategist Daniel Ellsberg was so shocked by his own research that he became America's most infamous war protestor will delight progressives.

But I just see it as a long-playing version of that thrilling moment when nerdy Clark Kent ducks into a phone booth and then busts out as Superman -- able to leap tall Washington monuments and 20-year cover ups in a single bound.

If (like me) you get off on bad ass geeks, or didn't know that Ellsberg's one-man war protest led to the Supreme Court's most important free speech ruling, it's a must see.  Right now it's in theaters, and this fall it will air on the PBS series POV.  Here's the trailer.

Plot: Narrated by the film's hero Ellsberg (with creepy snippets of Nixon ranting about how to crush him), enjoy this first-person version of all the facts fit to print about how an architect of the Vietnam War made the life-altering decision to leak a top secret report to the press, hoping to stop the war he'd come to hate.

To Its Credit: Interesting interviews with gobsmacked Nixon staffers and the butch New York Times team who threw sedition laws to the wind and first published the "Pentagon Papers"; Cool danger music courtesy "The Wire" composer Blake Leyh.

Pluses: Awesome audio of Nixon losing his religion; Surprisingly, also a charming love story. 

Minuses: It's all so fascinating you'll want to press pause and Google The Pentagon Papers.

You'll Like It If You Like: The Informant; The Insider; Fog of War; Berkeley in the 60s; Milk; The Times of Harvey Milk; Platoon, Invictus, Revenge of the Nerds.


My "Dangerous" Day Out
There's nothing I like more than an interactive movie screening (I once dated a cop from East LA just for an immersive screening of Colors).  Today was ideal!

First, walking from my apartment in Santa Monica to the theater, I passed THIS:

The site where Ellsberg infamously hand-Xeroxed all 7,000 pages of the Pentagon Papers

Then, after the movie I saw THIS!

Dangerous Daniel today..."The Most Adorable Grandpa in America." 

Ellsberg's juicy Q&A included tales about Nixon's plot to have him "rendered ineffectual" by Cuban hit men and his theory on why Afghanistan is no Vietnam ("In Afghanistan you get a dry heat.")

Grateful Vietnam protesters and even Vets offered tearful thanks, then Ellsberg asked if anyone from nearby RAND had actually shown up.  Two chicks raised their hands.  Ellsberg decided they deserved a prize and gave them each a copy of his book Secrets (on which the film is based).

On the left a RAND staffer from the 70's and on the right a current staffer...who asked to be pixilated!


Ellsberg and wife Patricia.

Believe it or not, I'm actually a bit allergic to "leftie" films, and "Dangerous Man" is decidedly leftie.  But I love me a story about a rebel geek!  What I took away from this film was the story of a simple analyst...swimming in paper clips and grizzly facts...who made the brave decision to give up his priviledged life to stop what he came to believe was an unjust war.  Not only a suspensful tale of how one nerd can change the world, but a sad reminder of just how low we've set the bar these days with our hero tales.

Give me a nerdy warrior armed with facts over a blow hard any day!

Note the mysterious orb in this pic I took tonight; After watching the film and meeting Grandpa Ellsberg in person, I'm convinced that's an angel on his shoulder!

Here's The Dangerous Man website (where you will find ample ways to fight the power).

Here's Ellsberg's personal website (where you'll find his current thoughts on why war sucks).

Big Fan: 4 Betty Stars

Just got back from the first night of the LA run of Big Fan over at Landmark's Nuart Theatre.

Big Fan is a very dark, very fun, very satisfying film directed by that talented Hollywood upstart who scripted last year's indie darling The Wrestler (the film that earned Mickey Rourke his one and only Oscar nom).

Like The Wrestler, Big Fan is a strange slice of American sports you'll never see on ESPN, but this time instead of having to take a subway to Darksville next to creepy Mickey Rourke, you get a wild ride with charming Patton Oswalt!

What a difference a man makes!




Star of Big Fan (and my fantasies) Patton Oswalt with co-star Kevin Corrigan.

Okay, I'll admit it.  I'm a big fan of Big Fan in no small part because of my mad hot love for Patton Oswalt.

Those of you who really know me know that my fantasies tend towards the Oswalt-type: short, stocky guys packing brains.  In Oswalt's case, my fantasies include a genius comedy routine delivered buck naked.

Okay, so maybe you don't quite share my fantasies, but I'm not the only Oswalt fan out there.  Here's a classic Oswalt foodie bit from his stand up routine that helped convince Brad Bird to cast him as "Remy", the star of Pixar's Oscar-winner Ratatouille.

But I knew that in Big Fan Oswalt would appear as an actual man, not just an animated rat, so getting me to the theater for this opening too wasn't hard.  And as one of the few perks they give us for living in LA, Oswalt was even appearing in the flesh for a Q&A opening night at the historic Nuart Theatre.  That's two reasons to find parking!

It's always a treat to see a film at the Nuart.  First there's Manager Jim Nicola, tonight looking as sexy and dapper as ever:

Then there's the trailers for the kind of obscure films that screen at the Nuart, which included two awesome docs: Crude: The Real Price of Oil (the latest by genius Joe Berlinger) and The Horse Boy (about a family who introduces their autistic son to Mongolian horsemen).

Then there's fun stuff you only get at the Nuart.  When an ad for something or other started with blockbuster director Michael Bay saying: "I consider myself an old school director..." the rest of the ad was drowned out by jeers from a theater packed with art house fanatics.

So even before Big Fan started I was in hog heaven.  But I actually also loved the film and recommend it.

If you like the kind of movie that rips your heart out, chews it up, then spits it into a gutter where a three-legged dog licks it up and pees it back out against the wall of a 7-11, or if you just have fantasies involving Patton Oswalt, then you'll love this movie.

Plot: Dumpy 30-something Paul Aufiero of Staten Island still lives with his mom, and not far from siblings who mock his job as a parking garage attendant.  Paul's only claim to fame is that, as a huge fan of the New York Giants, he's earned a place at the head of the line on a local call-in radio show.  But fighting to keep his title as the Giant's biggest fan just might be the worst mistake of his life.  Dark comedy/drama.

To Its Credit: Nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance; Writer/Director Robert Siegel (acclaimed screenwriter of The Wrestler) in an impressive directorial debut; Comedian Patton Oswalt (Ratatouille, King of Queens) in an impressive dramatic acting debut; Cinematographer Michael Simmonds (doc and verite vet with Spirit Award noms for both Chop Shop and Man Push Cart).

Pluses: NCY's scrappy Kevin Corrigan (Grounded for Life, Goodfellas, Kicked in the Head) as Paul's best friend; Exciting Michael Rapaport (Zebrahead, Cop Land, Metro) as Paul's nemesis; A verite style that sucks you right in to Paul's tiny world; Family face-offs that make you laugh while you cringe.

You'll Like This Film If You Liked: The Wrestler, Office Space, Drug Store Cowboy, Gloria, Marty...the idea of being stranded on a desert island with Patton Oswalt.

I Say: See It In The Theater for two reasons.  First, Big Fan premiered at Sundance, so it netted a bunch of critical hipster reviews (scoring 81% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes), but it was picked up by an itsy bitsy distributor, First Independent Pictures.  First Independent is a truly indie distributor, and deserves props for putting its gutsy $$ where bigger, faux indie distributors fear to tread (Liss: they also distribute "Everything's Gone Green").  When you cough up your $9.50 at the box office for this one, you're casting a vote for independent film, for realz.

First Independent's cute Prez Gary Rubin had his game face on for tonight's LA opening.

But there's another reason to see Big Fan in a theater.  Although some reviews call this a "sports comedy", there's no sports footage in this film and it's not exactly a comedy.  There are great laughs, but thanks to fine directing and acting, there's sooo many moments that make you squirm!  If you see it at home on DVD I guarantee you'll find excuses to skulk off during the most tortuous bits.  In the theater, you have to sit there and take it!  You'll be glad you did.

If you must, see the official trailer here or read the NYT review by Manohla Dargis here.  But I say DON'T WATCH THE TRAILER AND DON'T READ THE REVIEWS.  The twists and turns you don't expect are half the fun.  Instead, just watch this geekalicious clip of Oswalt on Jimmy Kimmel.

Writer/Director Robert Siegel showed up at the Nuart tonight for the Q&A looking rather adorable for someone who's become famous for scripting downtrodden losers.  He explained that this was a truly low-budget, independent film that took "24 days to shoot and 7 years to make".  Worth the wait, Siegel! (hopefully he'll never read my review of The Wrestler).

And kudos to Siegel for casting Patton Oswalt, a comedian, to play a character Oswalt described as someone who would "make Travis Bickle stop and say what the hell is wrong with this guy?"

From left to right: Polly Humphreys, Patton Oswalt, Robert Siegel, Gino Cafarelli

An enthusiastic gang from Big Fan showed up to support Siegel, including the film's production designer, composer, and editor, plus cast members Gino Cafarelli of The Sopranos (who plays Paul's impatient, money-grubbing brother), Polly Humphreys (who plays Paul's nervous suburban sister), and two people who made their acting debuts in Big Fan: zexy Serafina Fiore (who taught Marisa Tomei how to strip for The Wrestler and plays a trophy wife in Big Fan) and Jonathan Hamm (defensive lineman for the New Orleans Saints who plays Paul's favorite NY Giant).

Jonathan Hamm (in blue) and his posse...film grips...or maybe NFL celebrities...how would I know?


Hamm is forgiven for that Ed Hardy T because he rocks it, and rocked his role in "Big Fan".

Oswalt showed up to the Q&A cheerful and coiffed, tossing out off-the-cuff answers as good as any of his stand up improvs.  When someone asked Siegel if his next script would be a third installment on the dark side of sports, Siegel hesitated but Oswalt chimed in: "If there's going to be a trilogy, I think the trilogy should be about that plaid jacket that shows up in both The Wrestler and Big Fan.  In the third film maybe we can finally see that ugly indie film jacket make its way to a happy person."

Then someone asked Oswalt how he managed to play a rabid sports fan, since Oswalt's a confessed geek who's more likely to be seen at Comic-Con (or not) than a football game.  Oswalt said he drew from his experience as a rabid film fan, and took a moment to give a shout out to the Nuart:  "I've been coming to the Nuart for ten years, seeing independent films and classic films, and I just have to say it truly is a thrill for me to have a screening in this theater for an audience like you guys, real film fans.  I know what you're like!  You're all Paul Aufiero!"

So true!  Thanks to all of you from Big Fan for showing up!  We love you!

Oswalt with one of his (and my) favorite things about the Nuart: tonight's moderator, Marc Heuck, film expert and "Beat the Geeks" official Film Geek (see Marc do his thing in this YouTube clip at 3:06).

Go here to find out if Big Fan is playing in your town (Anna, you can catch it in DC at the E Street Cinema; Jeff H. you can catch it in Boston at Kendall Square)  Catch Oswalt being a comedian in his 2009 special "My Weakness Is Strong" in reruns on Comedy Central.

See you in my dreams, Patton!

Just got back from a 2-day getaway to stark, stunning Anacapa Island off the coast of Ventura.   Did a little snorkeling, a little hiking, and a lot of bird watching...

I started my getaway with an afternoon in Oxnard, a town some of youse suburbanites might fear, but I heartily recommend as one of SoCal's best escapes for an affordable, easy-to-reach, overnight stay where you can really clear out the ole noggin.

Barefoot, but confident!

That's Oxnard!   This historic little SoCal burg settled by migrant farmhands (and still teaming with scary immigrants) might be known to some for its crime stats, but don't be fooled.   Oxnard is about to become the coastal gem you can't afford.

Thanks to its proximity to a beautiful beach, its bevy of quaint, vintage housing, and its old-timey vibe, this dialed-down town is just a Travel Channel special away from being invaded by hipsters and gays ready to roll up the sleeves of their boutique western wear and make this coastal community safe for mainstream white folk.

Until then, you can enjoy Oxnard as the relaxed, affordable, Cali getaway it is today.


If you're the Travelocity type timid about stepping off the grid, start with Oxnard's Woolworth Building.   It was recently restored to the tune of $2 mil (creative office space available), and features a gourmet diner that caters to organic foodies.


Venture further down Oxnard's broad, leafy streets and you'll find a town frozen in time, full of charming local shops where even Harriet Nelson would feel at home...


...well, Harriet's maid, anway...


Me, I love Oxnard for the oh-so-relaxed pace, plentiful parking (always free!), killer thrift store deals (this trip I scored a lipstick-red 50s chair for 8 bucks!), and going to the movies.   Oxnard has a brand-spanking new theater...that for some reason is always empty.

This trip I enjoyed "District 9" in a plush theater...with only 4 other patrons.   It was like having my own private screening room!

After totally decompressing in Downtown Oxnard, I spent the night at a plush local hotel for an awesome rate (see below), then headed out in the morning with Island Packers to Anacapa Island.

Props to Island Packers for making the boat trip as much fun as the island.   True to their word, they stopped when porpoises surrounded the boat and answered endless questions with keen expertise.  Their 40 years of experience was a terrific bonus to what could have been just a taxi ride.

I went to Anacapa to snorkel, and had a great time.   Conditions were ideal!


After snorkeling, I hiked the island, accompanied by a darling family I met on the boat.   Other than this young mom and her kids, I never saw another soul on the trail.   This silent, scenic hike is sure to clear the cobwebs from even the messiest head tangled in LA nonsense:

I recommend this getaway to everyone, from locals like me who need an escape to first-time visitors to the Great State of California!

TRAVEL TIPS: OXNARD
Oxnard is 60 miles north of LA.   If you live in Santa Monica or Venice, avoid the freeway at all costs; The breathtaking drive up the Pacific Coast Highway is the ideal way to begin this getaway!

Lodging: I loved my stay at the Oxnard Best Western where I enjoyed a toasty (and utterly empty) hot tub, wireless access, HBO, and a plush, 3-star room for just $72 (booking online).

Things To See In Oxnard: Oxnard's Carnegie Art Museum features 20th Century California artists from Hurrell to Gronk.   Oxnard's Downtown Center for the Arts hosts even more art, plus screenings of rare foreign and indie films.   Oxnard's Woolworth Building features the world's only Woolworth Museum (with historic photos and vintage vending machines), a gourmet diner, and live music nightly.   The new Plaza Cinema movie theater features 14 screens...and no lines!   The theater complex includes a Starbucks and a Coldstone Creamery, plus Peruvian, Thai, and Spanish eateries (all of these stops are just blocks from each other).

To check out Oxnard's vintage architecture, take a stroll from 2nd to 6th Street between F and C Street, or take a Home Tour with the Oxnard Historic District.

Big Oxnard Annual Events: Strawberry Festvial (May), Salsa Festival (July), Haunted Heritage Square (October), Holiday Lights (December).

ANACAPA:
In General: Anacapa is the closest Channel Island to the Cali mainland.   It's a small, deserted island; camping is the only option for an overnight stay.   There's no running water; outhouse-style bathrooms are available, but don't expect a coffee bar, showers, or even faucets.

Getting There: Island Packers is the only vendor licensed to take visitors to the Channel Islands, so they're your only choice.   But a good one!   The boat to Anacapa costs $45, leaves twice daily most days, and takes about an hour.   It's not a cruise ship, so if you tend to get seasick take your pills.

Snorkel Gear and Snacks: Island Packers sells snacks on the boat (cash only), but there's nothing for sale on Anacapa.   Snorkel gear is strictly BYO!   As I learned, you might want to bring an extra set of snorkel gear in case you make friends on the boat who decide to join you!

Guided Naturalist Hikes: Free from Island Packers and/or Channel Island National Park Guides.   Or take a self-guided tour using the free booklets available at the trailhead.   The sole trail on the island takes about 1 and 1/2 hours going at a pokey, enjoying-the-scenery kinda pace.   Expect to see Chumash Indian sites, tons of sea birds, sea lion habitats, and awesome vistas.

Kayaking: You can rent a kayak for about $55/day; Island Packers will haul the kayaks over for you at no charge, but once they drop you off you're on your own, so don't make this your first day in a kayak...unless you bring along a sexy water baby to show you the ropes!

This popular Anacapa kayak destination is about a 45-min paddle from the main dock:


But the most popular trek for kayakers is Anacapa's famous arch (just a 15-min paddle from the main dock):


My 2-day getaway only cost about $150, including luxe lodging, gas, food, and fun.   Cheap frills!

You can find all my pix of Oxnard and Anacapa on my Oxnard Anacapa Photobucket Album.   For prime viewing, use the "slideshow" button in the top right hand corner and set the slideshow speed to "slow".   Happy Trails!