Once again, I humbly submit my reviews of this year's Oscar bait flicks (click on any title to see the trailer).  Based on what I'm reading in the trades, if you go by my choices you'll lose the office pool!  Whether my favorites win or not, this was a great year for black folk, tough chicks, and film fans!


Betty's Oscar Wish List:

BEST PICTURE: "INVICTUS"
"We're more than just a rugby team now, and we better get used to it."



I'm no fan of director Clint Eastwood.  I find his films slow and maudlin, like listening to Grandpa yammer on about the good old days.  BUT when it comes to the AMAZING TRUE STORY of how Nelson Mandela enlisted South Africa's crappy rugby team to heal his nation's bloody past, turns out an old man is just what you need.  You'll be thankful to sit at Grandpa Eastwood's knee and soak up every thoughtful moment of this beautiful tale.  Just like Slumdog Millionaire last year, by the time the credits roll you'll be on your feet wiping away the tears saying, "Do it again!  Do it again!"

Plot: The amazing true story of how newly-elected South Africa President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) convinced his nation's scrappy rugby team to shoot for a World Cup...and unite a nation.

Pluses: Costars impressive juggling patriot Matt Damon as the butch yet soulful team captain Francois Pienaar; Filmed entirely in South Africa; Brief but satisfying shot of a topless Matt Damon.

Minuses:  Despite the film's attention to detail, you won't understand rugby or any of the dialogue.

You'll Like It If You Like: Slumdog Millionaire, Rudy, Chariots of Fire, Breaking Away, Gallipoli.
 
Betty Sez: See it in theaters for a great night out or rent it on DVD and use the subtitle function to find out what the hell everyone is saying.  But see this one!


BEST DIRECTOR: JAMES CAMERON: "AVATAR"
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are not in Kansas anymore"

In 1939, The Wizard of Oz blew away audiences when it dropped Dorothy into a Technicolor Oz.  This year, Avatar director James Cameron blew away the world with his 3D version of the mythical planet Pandora.  Cameron convinced Hollywood to invest $400 million in new cameras and software, and we here living off the wake of his hubris are thrilled that the man who created Aliens, Terminator, and Titanic seemed to have, yet again, created a reason for people to leave their home theaters for a night out at the picture show.

All you need to know is that Avatar is a fun!  (Also, this is pretty funny.)

Plot: A tough Marine who lost the use of his legs finds a second life when he inhabits an alien clone designed to spy on a beautiful planet, only to find himself wondering who to fight for.

Pluses: A fantasy thrill-ride full of adventure and awesome chicks, including Cameron fav Sigourney Weaver as the smartest guy in the room and Star Trek's Zoe Saldana as a buff princess.

Minuses: Despite the nature-based values of Cameron's Pandora, Avatar's final conflict comes down to your typical firefight.  We pagan goddesses say "Meh" to all that.

You'll Like It If You Like: Having eyes.

Betty Sez:  Be sure to see this in the theater in 3D!


BEST ACTRESS/SUPPORTING ACTRESS: "PRECIOUS"
"You're 16, you're still in junior high school, and you're pregnant with your second child.  Is that correct, Clarice?"

Skanky ghetto life, teen pregnancy, welfare fraud, incest.  "Precious" sounds like about as much fun as being hit in the head with a hammer.  So not so!  Precious is like a five-course gourmet meal served up by a master chef.  You'll leave the theater feeling satisfied, inspired, and eager to tell your friends all about it.

Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire was directed by Lee Daniels, the jazzy Manhattan hipster who produced Monster's Ball (one of my favorite films, and the movie behind the historic and moving moment when Halle Berry became the first African-American to win a Best Actress Oscar).  Under Daniels' loving gaze, the tough story of Clarice Precious Jones becomes both a documentary and a poem, both confessor and priest of an important part of the American psyche.  Daniels frees this story and turns it into a song of love and insight that, I promise, leaves you feeling blessed and inspired.

Best Actress: Gabby Sidibe

First-timer Gabby Sidibe just might be the only girl on earth with the subway ticket to Clarice Precious Jones.  She's so good, in fact, it's hard to believe she's acting.  To see why she deserves the Best Actress Oscar, watch Gabby as her bubbly true self on "Ellen".

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique
    
Thanks to Daniels, Mo'Nique appears in Precious as one of cinema's greatest villains, abusive mom "Mary".  To appreciate just how much acting ass Mo'Nique kicks in the film, watch real life Mo'Nique sparkle on "Ellen".

Plot: The world expands in beautiful ways for a shy Harlem teen who joins an alternative school.

Pluses:  Winner of the Grand Jury and Audience Favorite awards at Sundance; Impressive celebrities (including Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, and Paula Patton) show up to shine their unique, knowing light on this story.

Minuses: Director Lee Daniels smartly crafts just the right does of mental white space in the film with fantasy sequences and a beautiful supporting cast, but Precious is a classic fairytale walk into the dark wood, so pack your mental rucksack.

You'll Like It If You Like: Monster's Ball, To Sir With Love, The Miracle Worker, Amalie.


BEST ACTOR: COLIN FIRTH: "A SINGLE MAN"
"This is kind of a serious day for me."

Not to be confused with "A Serious Man", the film about Jews in 1960, A Single Man is about gays in 1960, and stars Colin Firth, the "single man" I wish would win this year's Best Actor Oscar.  We girls loved Colin Firth in Bridget Jones and Mama Mia, but Firth is at his sexy best in this art house flick directed by Gucci fashionista Tom Ford.  His performance is so good I can only compare it to getting a hot oil massage from Aboriginal chakra healers deep in an Australian rain forest.  Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Plot: Heartbroken by the death of his partner, a suicidal English professor sees the world anew on what might -- or might not -- be the last day of his life (see the film's annoying trailer here).

Pluses: Costars lovely Matthew Goode as Firth's charming partner and talented Julianne Moore out-acting a bouffant.

Minuses: There's soo many slow-mo scenes it's impossible not to think up cracks about Calvin Klein perfume ads; Apparently, gay Santa Monica circa 1960 has no bears; Colin Firth will ruin you for all other men.

You'll Like It If You Like:  Alfie (the good one), Brokeback Mountain, Before Sunrise, The Deep, The Piano, Modern art museums.

Betty Sez: Rent it and enjoy your time with dashing Colin Firth in private.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: CHRISTOPH WALTZ: "INGLORIOUS BASTERDS"
"What a tremendously hostile world a rat must endure."

I say Basturds if overrated, but Waltz shines as one villain I'd like to fick.  Read my original review


OVERRATED!
There's nothing wrong with these films (except Nine), but I have no idea why they're getting so much attention.  See them on DVD without missing a thing...just keep your expectations in check.

THE HURT LOCKER

Feral cats, wise-crackin' kids, and shaky cameras provide the "realism" for this film about soldiers on bomb squad duty in Iraq.  In my humble opinion, the fact that Hurt Locker is getting so much attention must be credited to the fact that America is determined to stay very, very unconscious of its karmic debt in the Middle East.  Sorry Hot Bomb Diffuser Jeremy Renner, but it had to be said.

Hurt Locker has as much to do with Iraq as Good Will Hunting has to do with math.  It's the kind of "war film" that appeals to people who really don't want to know anything about war.  Eroneously heralded by director Katheryn Bigelow's ex James Cameron as "the Platoon of the Iraq war", the only thing this film adds to the annals of war film is the term "bomb porn".  Expect nothing but a string of scenes rigged with fear of a bomb exploding and you staying a safe distance from any true insight.  You'll like Hurt Locker it you like Backdraft, Payback, Se7en, 24, reuptake inhibitors, Sarah Palin, and living in denial.

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent Gunner Palace or Paradise Now.

UP IN THE AIR

If, say, someone like Ashton Kutcher had starred in this film about a perpetually single, urbane, 40-something dude who only comes to crave hearth and home after a bunch of perky gals invade his life, I'd be impressed with the "acting".  But perpetually single, urbane, 40-something George Clooney?  As if!  Directed by the same snarky Jason Reitman who brought you Juno, you'll like this film if you like The Squid and the Whale, The Terminal, Oceans 11, singer/songwriters, or sweater sales at The Gap.

Critics are mewing over young costar Anna Kendrick, but it's yummy Vera Farmiga that makes this cliche of white America worth watching.  Enjoy Farmiga in this interview with the only person who wouldn't want to shtupp her after seeing "Up in the Air".

Betty Sez: Rent it for a dull night in, but only with a double feature of Reitman's Thank You For Smoking or Clooney's better bitter turn as Michael Clayton.


NINE

This trailer-friendly flick about a film director searching his Jungian "tool" box for inspiration is so bad it's not even worth mocking.  Mad hot love for Marion and Daniel, but the only thing you need to see will soon show up in their full length versions on YouTube: Fergie doing "Be Italian" and Penelope doing "Call From the Vatican".  If forced to watch it at a dinner party, slyly press "mute" during the Cinema Italiano scene so you can enjoy Kate Hudson's ass without having to listen to her "sing".

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent any of these nine musicals about directors and artists: Cabaret, La Vie En Rose, Beyond The Sea, All That Jazz, 42nd Street, Velvet Goldmine, Singing In the Rain, Stormy Weather, Jail House Rock.


THE HANGOVER

Not bad, but no funnier than "I Love You, Man" or "Extract", not to mention Jud Apatow's Funny People, which is not only funny but also nearly deep.  All four will tickle the gin-suppressed fancy of middle-aged white guys wondering how they ended up in the suburbs.  For you gals who breed for them, laugh along, then make a batch of margaritas and watch Clueless again.  RIP Brittany.  We love you.


Well Worth Seeing

UP

Another adorable Pixar project, this time featuring America's first animated Asian star (childless cynics like me will enjoy this remix of "Up" as Gran Tarino).

THE COVE

Winner of my all-time favorite pull quote: "A cross between Flipper and the Bourne Identity."  Also, winner of the Sundance Audience Favorite doc award.  Far from neutral, but a great caper flick about environmentalists trying to capture footage of an annual Japanese dolphin slaughter.

DISTRICT 9

A South African bureaucrat befriends opressed aliens in this fantastic mix of action, acting, and art produced by Peter "Lord of the Rings" Jackson.  Read my original review.

BIG FAN

A fun, bleak, art house flick about a football fanatic attacked by his favorite player.  Directed by the writer of "The Wrestler" and starring comic Paton Oswalt.  Read my original review.  

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN AMERICA

A thinking man's "Revenge of the Nerds" chronicling how analyst Daniel Ellsberg brought the Vietnam War to a halt by sneaking a massive report the American press.  Read my original review.

See y'all at the Oscars!

Ever since the first fall I spent in beautiful Santa Cruz, this time of year has had a strange hold on me.  I think maybe it's because the first fall I spent in Santa Cruz was both my first months of college, where my mind was fitted with its own set of wings, and my first taste of a true autumn.

In Santa Cruz, fall brings wonderful warm rain, an exotic luxury to a kid from the desert of Riverside.  I used to spend hours walking in the rain from my dorm through miles of cow pastures to get to the office of the school paper at the bottom of campus.  It was on one of these walks that I first saw the end of a rainbow, landing right in a cow pasture, turning the green hills pink, yellow, and blue.

I used to spend hours wandering the redwood forest on campus, mesmerized by the sight of bright green ferns against dark red trunks, the sound of water dripping from the high branches, and the scent of the redwoods that only comes out when everything's wet.  It was on those walks that Ben used to spy on me from the branches of a big oak tree, softly reciting his poetry from up in the tree (...took me a while to figure out it wasn't the Oak talking to me).

I know what you suburbanites think of Santa Cruz, but this was all sans drugs.  Just earth!

So now, from the moment the first cold wind snaps at me I am overwhelmed with the desire to run off into the country to be seduced by all that is autumnal and earthy.

Sometimes my crazy fall treks don't work out.  I've had short order cooks at roadside eateries wave knives at me for asking for soup made from home-grown pumpkins, and I've checked into my share of out-of-the-way motels hoping for an idyllic escape, only to realize my neighbors were probably discussing where to hide the body.

But this year's first fall trek wasn't too bad!  Thanks to Steve L., who hooked me up with a great weekend in Santa Barbara, I got a pretty good fix.  Here's a mess of pix from our trip with Miss P:

First Stop: Celebrated vintner Jim Clendenen's bi-annual open house north of Santa Barbara.

On the road: a storm headed our way filled the whole trip with romantic, moody skies!

Steve had just got a "Tom Tom"...so he didn't bring a map...

...so we were lost most of the time!

But after a 2.5-hour, 45-mile trip from downtown Santa Barbara, we finally made it!


The open house is at the Au Bon Climat warehouse, not a tasting room...

...so it was all wide-open and breezy and country air.  And they brought out 100 wines to taste!


Miss P looking for a good white wine...and trying to avoid eye contact with Whole Foods groupies.


Me and Miss P got a little drunk on the hot vintners...

With a case of wine (each) in the trunk, we headed to our second stop:  Cold Springs Tavern, an historic stagecoach stop in Los Padres National Forest.


Every Sunday, Cold Springs hosts a biker/hiker street side blues jam.

How did Leland ever get wise to THIS dealio?  Guess he's more street than I realize!


The menu: cold beer and tri-tip sandwiches.




Board members of the Santa Barbara Co-Op jigging to the blues after a forest retreat.

Next Stop: A hotel on the beach in Santa Barbara.


I chose Best Western Beachside Inn.  Not the fanciest hotel, but I got upgraded to a room with a balcony and a foxy ex-boyfriend who lives in the area:

Dane juggles our dinner date with his busy life as a single dad.

Next morning...

Evidently, Miss P found a white wine she liked!

...despite a few empty bottles, I was up early for a beach hike right outside the hotel.

Black Skimmers and Elegant Terns.

Then Steve and I enjoyed a classic SoCal fall breakfast: an ocean view and snuggly sweaters.

"Little Black" Sambo's...the food sucks, but you have to do it.

Last Stop: Miss P and I hiked to Saddle Rock in Montecito (found this in "Santa Barbara Day Hikes" by Ray Ford, a great book you can pick up at the Visitor Center kiosk on the corner of the ocean front drag Cabrillo and Garden St.)  The hike threads past big-ass Montecito mansions (this is Oprah's Cali hood), then into the lovely foothills:

Oh, the oaks remind me of Santa Cruz!  We didn't see Ben...


But we did find the mysterious hidden "Hot Springs"!

Top of the trail:

Miss P made it to the top, despite her cumbersome garb.


Great view of fall overtaking SoCal.

Most of the wine made it back unopened.

Only thing missing was that home-grown pumpkin I was still craving...

Luckily, I live in Santa Monica!  Two days later came the wonderful rain and...


...a beautiful farm boy bearing organic Santa Barbara pumpkins!

Lovely Julian of Fairview Gardens Farm in Goleta and my pumpkin, at long last!

Carried my pumpkin back home from the farmer's market in my backpack, jumping in puddles all the way.  Happy fall!

"The Most Dangerous Man In America"

Suck it, Mad Men.

Look at me smoking in the steno pool!  I'm so retro!

If you really want to go back to the 60s to find out why then is so different from now, forget Mad Men and see "Dangerous Man".  This true tale about a daring whistleblower who changed American history doesn't star Matt Damon, but it's safe to say Matt would heartily recommend it.


Betty Sez: Free speech rebels are hot!

"We got to get this son of a bitch." -- Richard Nixon

This affectionate recap of how Vietnam War strategist Daniel Ellsberg was so shocked by his own research that he became America's most infamous war protestor will delight progressives.

But I just see it as a long-playing version of that thrilling moment when nerdy Clark Kent ducks into a phone booth and then busts out as Superman -- able to leap tall Washington monuments and 20-year cover ups in a single bound.

If (like me) you get off on bad ass geeks, or didn't know that Ellsberg's one-man war protest led to the Supreme Court's most important free speech ruling, it's a must see.  Right now it's in theaters, and this fall it will air on the PBS series POV.  Here's the trailer.

Plot: Narrated by the film's hero Ellsberg (with creepy snippets of Nixon ranting about how to crush him), enjoy this first-person version of all the facts fit to print about how an architect of the Vietnam War made the life-altering decision to leak a top secret report to the press, hoping to stop the war he'd come to hate.

To Its Credit: Interesting interviews with gobsmacked Nixon staffers and the butch New York Times team who threw sedition laws to the wind and first published the "Pentagon Papers"; Cool danger music courtesy "The Wire" composer Blake Leyh.

Pluses: Awesome audio of Nixon losing his religion; Surprisingly, also a charming love story. 

Minuses: It's all so fascinating you'll want to press pause and Google The Pentagon Papers.

You'll Like It If You Like: The Informant; The Insider; Fog of War; Berkeley in the 60s; Milk; The Times of Harvey Milk; Platoon, Invictus, Revenge of the Nerds.


My "Dangerous" Day Out
There's nothing I like more than an interactive movie screening (I once dated a cop from East LA just for an immersive screening of Colors).  Today was ideal!

First, walking from my apartment in Santa Monica to the theater, I passed THIS:

The site where Ellsberg infamously hand-Xeroxed all 7,000 pages of the Pentagon Papers

Then, after the movie I saw THIS!

Dangerous Daniel today..."The Most Adorable Grandpa in America." 

Ellsberg's juicy Q&A included tales about Nixon's plot to have him "rendered ineffectual" by Cuban hit men and his theory on why Afghanistan is no Vietnam ("In Afghanistan you get a dry heat.")

Grateful Vietnam protesters and even Vets offered tearful thanks, then Ellsberg asked if anyone from nearby RAND had actually shown up.  Two chicks raised their hands.  Ellsberg decided they deserved a prize and gave them each a copy of his book Secrets (on which the film is based).

On the left a RAND staffer from the 70's and on the right a current staffer...who asked to be pixilated!


Ellsberg and wife Patricia.

Believe it or not, I'm actually a bit allergic to "leftie" films, and "Dangerous Man" is decidedly leftie.  But I love me a story about a rebel geek!  What I took away from this film was the story of a simple analyst...swimming in paper clips and grizzly facts...who made the brave decision to give up his priviledged life to stop what he came to believe was an unjust war.  Not only a suspensful tale of how one nerd can change the world, but a sad reminder of just how low we've set the bar these days with our hero tales.

Give me a nerdy warrior armed with facts over a blow hard any day!

Note the mysterious orb in this pic I took tonight; After watching the film and meeting Grandpa Ellsberg in person, I'm convinced that's an angel on his shoulder!

Here's The Dangerous Man website (where you will find ample ways to fight the power).

Here's Ellsberg's personal website (where you'll find his current thoughts on why war sucks).

Big Fan: 4 Betty Stars

Just got back from the first night of the LA run of Big Fan over at Landmark's Nuart Theatre.

Big Fan is a very dark, very fun, very satisfying film directed by that talented Hollywood upstart who scripted last year's indie darling The Wrestler (the film that earned Mickey Rourke his one and only Oscar nom).

Like The Wrestler, Big Fan is a strange slice of American sports you'll never see on ESPN, but this time instead of having to take a subway to Darksville next to creepy Mickey Rourke, you get a wild ride with charming Patton Oswalt!

What a difference a man makes!




Star of Big Fan (and my fantasies) Patton Oswalt with co-star Kevin Corrigan.

Okay, I'll admit it.  I'm a big fan of Big Fan in no small part because of my mad hot love for Patton Oswalt.

Those of you who really know me know that my fantasies tend towards the Oswalt-type: short, stocky guys packing brains.  In Oswalt's case, my fantasies include a genius comedy routine delivered buck naked.

Okay, so maybe you don't quite share my fantasies, but I'm not the only Oswalt fan out there.  Here's a classic Oswalt foodie bit from his stand up routine that helped convince Brad Bird to cast him as "Remy", the star of Pixar's Oscar-winner Ratatouille.

But I knew that in Big Fan Oswalt would appear as an actual man, not just an animated rat, so getting me to the theater for this opening too wasn't hard.  And as one of the few perks they give us for living in LA, Oswalt was even appearing in the flesh for a Q&A opening night at the historic Nuart Theatre.  That's two reasons to find parking!

It's always a treat to see a film at the Nuart.  First there's Manager Jim Nicola, tonight looking as sexy and dapper as ever:

Then there's the trailers for the kind of obscure films that screen at the Nuart, which included two awesome docs: Crude: The Real Price of Oil (the latest by genius Joe Berlinger) and The Horse Boy (about a family who introduces their autistic son to Mongolian horsemen).

Then there's fun stuff you only get at the Nuart.  When an ad for something or other started with blockbuster director Michael Bay saying: "I consider myself an old school director..." the rest of the ad was drowned out by jeers from a theater packed with art house fanatics.

So even before Big Fan started I was in hog heaven.  But I actually also loved the film and recommend it.

If you like the kind of movie that rips your heart out, chews it up, then spits it into a gutter where a three-legged dog licks it up and pees it back out against the wall of a 7-11, or if you just have fantasies involving Patton Oswalt, then you'll love this movie.

Plot: Dumpy 30-something Paul Aufiero of Staten Island still lives with his mom, and not far from siblings who mock his job as a parking garage attendant.  Paul's only claim to fame is that, as a huge fan of the New York Giants, he's earned a place at the head of the line on a local call-in radio show.  But fighting to keep his title as the Giant's biggest fan just might be the worst mistake of his life.  Dark comedy/drama.

To Its Credit: Nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance; Writer/Director Robert Siegel (acclaimed screenwriter of The Wrestler) in an impressive directorial debut; Comedian Patton Oswalt (Ratatouille, King of Queens) in an impressive dramatic acting debut; Cinematographer Michael Simmonds (doc and verite vet with Spirit Award noms for both Chop Shop and Man Push Cart).

Pluses: NCY's scrappy Kevin Corrigan (Grounded for Life, Goodfellas, Kicked in the Head) as Paul's best friend; Exciting Michael Rapaport (Zebrahead, Cop Land, Metro) as Paul's nemesis; A verite style that sucks you right in to Paul's tiny world; Family face-offs that make you laugh while you cringe.

You'll Like This Film If You Liked: The Wrestler, Office Space, Drug Store Cowboy, Gloria, Marty...the idea of being stranded on a desert island with Patton Oswalt.

I Say: See It In The Theater for two reasons.  First, Big Fan premiered at Sundance, so it netted a bunch of critical hipster reviews (scoring 81% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes), but it was picked up by an itsy bitsy distributor, First Independent Pictures.  First Independent is a truly indie distributor, and deserves props for putting its gutsy $$ where bigger, faux indie distributors fear to tread (Liss: they also distribute "Everything's Gone Green").  When you cough up your $9.50 at the box office for this one, you're casting a vote for independent film, for realz.

First Independent's cute Prez Gary Rubin had his game face on for tonight's LA opening.

But there's another reason to see Big Fan in a theater.  Although some reviews call this a "sports comedy", there's no sports footage in this film and it's not exactly a comedy.  There are great laughs, but thanks to fine directing and acting, there's sooo many moments that make you squirm!  If you see it at home on DVD I guarantee you'll find excuses to skulk off during the most tortuous bits.  In the theater, you have to sit there and take it!  You'll be glad you did.

If you must, see the official trailer here or read the NYT review by Manohla Dargis here.  But I say DON'T WATCH THE TRAILER AND DON'T READ THE REVIEWS.  The twists and turns you don't expect are half the fun.  Instead, just watch this geekalicious clip of Oswalt on Jimmy Kimmel.

Writer/Director Robert Siegel showed up at the Nuart tonight for the Q&A looking rather adorable for someone who's become famous for scripting downtrodden losers.  He explained that this was a truly low-budget, independent film that took "24 days to shoot and 7 years to make".  Worth the wait, Siegel! (hopefully he'll never read my review of The Wrestler).

And kudos to Siegel for casting Patton Oswalt, a comedian, to play a character Oswalt described as someone who would "make Travis Bickle stop and say what the hell is wrong with this guy?"

From left to right: Polly Humphreys, Patton Oswalt, Robert Siegel, Gino Cafarelli

An enthusiastic gang from Big Fan showed up to support Siegel, including the film's production designer, composer, and editor, plus cast members Gino Cafarelli of The Sopranos (who plays Paul's impatient, money-grubbing brother), Polly Humphreys (who plays Paul's nervous suburban sister), and two people who made their acting debuts in Big Fan: zexy Serafina Fiore (who taught Marisa Tomei how to strip for The Wrestler and plays a trophy wife in Big Fan) and Jonathan Hamm (defensive lineman for the New Orleans Saints who plays Paul's favorite NY Giant).

Jonathan Hamm (in blue) and his posse...film grips...or maybe NFL celebrities...how would I know?


Hamm is forgiven for that Ed Hardy T because he rocks it, and rocked his role in "Big Fan".

Oswalt showed up to the Q&A cheerful and coiffed, tossing out off-the-cuff answers as good as any of his stand up improvs.  When someone asked Siegel if his next script would be a third installment on the dark side of sports, Siegel hesitated but Oswalt chimed in: "If there's going to be a trilogy, I think the trilogy should be about that plaid jacket that shows up in both The Wrestler and Big Fan.  In the third film maybe we can finally see that ugly indie film jacket make its way to a happy person."

Then someone asked Oswalt how he managed to play a rabid sports fan, since Oswalt's a confessed geek who's more likely to be seen at Comic-Con (or not) than a football game.  Oswalt said he drew from his experience as a rabid film fan, and took a moment to give a shout out to the Nuart:  "I've been coming to the Nuart for ten years, seeing independent films and classic films, and I just have to say it truly is a thrill for me to have a screening in this theater for an audience like you guys, real film fans.  I know what you're like!  You're all Paul Aufiero!"

So true!  Thanks to all of you from Big Fan for showing up!  We love you!

Oswalt with one of his (and my) favorite things about the Nuart: tonight's moderator, Marc Heuck, film expert and "Beat the Geeks" official Film Geek (see Marc do his thing in this YouTube clip at 3:06).

Go here to find out if Big Fan is playing in your town (Anna, you can catch it in DC at the E Street Cinema; Jeff H. you can catch it in Boston at Kendall Square)  Catch Oswalt being a comedian in his 2009 special "My Weakness Is Strong" in reruns on Comedy Central.

See you in my dreams, Patton!

Just got back from a 2-day getaway to stark, stunning Anacapa Island off the coast of Ventura.   Did a little snorkeling, a little hiking, and a lot of bird watching...

I started my getaway with an afternoon in Oxnard, a town some of youse suburbanites might fear, but I heartily recommend as one of SoCal's best escapes for an affordable, easy-to-reach, overnight stay where you can really clear out the ole noggin.

Barefoot, but confident!

That's Oxnard!   This historic little SoCal burg settled by migrant farmhands (and still teaming with scary immigrants) might be known to some for its crime stats, but don't be fooled.   Oxnard is about to become the coastal gem you can't afford.

Thanks to its proximity to a beautiful beach, its bevy of quaint, vintage housing, and its old-timey vibe, this dialed-down town is just a Travel Channel special away from being invaded by hipsters and gays ready to roll up the sleeves of their boutique western wear and make this coastal community safe for mainstream white folk.

Until then, you can enjoy Oxnard as the relaxed, affordable, Cali getaway it is today.


If you're the Travelocity type timid about stepping off the grid, start with Oxnard's Woolworth Building.   It was recently restored to the tune of $2 mil (creative office space available), and features a gourmet diner that caters to organic foodies.


Venture further down Oxnard's broad, leafy streets and you'll find a town frozen in time, full of charming local shops where even Harriet Nelson would feel at home...


...well, Harriet's maid, anway...


Me, I love Oxnard for the oh-so-relaxed pace, plentiful parking (always free!), killer thrift store deals (this trip I scored a lipstick-red 50s chair for 8 bucks!), and going to the movies.   Oxnard has a brand-spanking new theater...that for some reason is always empty.

This trip I enjoyed "District 9" in a plush theater...with only 4 other patrons.   It was like having my own private screening room!

After totally decompressing in Downtown Oxnard, I spent the night at a plush local hotel for an awesome rate (see below), then headed out in the morning with Island Packers to Anacapa Island.

Props to Island Packers for making the boat trip as much fun as the island.   True to their word, they stopped when porpoises surrounded the boat and answered endless questions with keen expertise.  Their 40 years of experience was a terrific bonus to what could have been just a taxi ride.

I went to Anacapa to snorkel, and had a great time.   Conditions were ideal!


After snorkeling, I hiked the island, accompanied by a darling family I met on the boat.   Other than this young mom and her kids, I never saw another soul on the trail.   This silent, scenic hike is sure to clear the cobwebs from even the messiest head tangled in LA nonsense:

I recommend this getaway to everyone, from locals like me who need an escape to first-time visitors to the Great State of California!

TRAVEL TIPS: OXNARD
Oxnard is 60 miles north of LA.   If you live in Santa Monica or Venice, avoid the freeway at all costs; The breathtaking drive up the Pacific Coast Highway is the ideal way to begin this getaway!

Lodging: I loved my stay at the Oxnard Best Western where I enjoyed a toasty (and utterly empty) hot tub, wireless access, HBO, and a plush, 3-star room for just $72 (booking online).

Things To See In Oxnard: Oxnard's Carnegie Art Museum features 20th Century California artists from Hurrell to Gronk.   Oxnard's Downtown Center for the Arts hosts even more art, plus screenings of rare foreign and indie films.   Oxnard's Woolworth Building features the world's only Woolworth Museum (with historic photos and vintage vending machines), a gourmet diner, and live music nightly.   The new Plaza Cinema movie theater features 14 screens...and no lines!   The theater complex includes a Starbucks and a Coldstone Creamery, plus Peruvian, Thai, and Spanish eateries (all of these stops are just blocks from each other).

To check out Oxnard's vintage architecture, take a stroll from 2nd to 6th Street between F and C Street, or take a Home Tour with the Oxnard Historic District.

Big Oxnard Annual Events: Strawberry Festvial (May), Salsa Festival (July), Haunted Heritage Square (October), Holiday Lights (December).

ANACAPA:
In General: Anacapa is the closest Channel Island to the Cali mainland.   It's a small, deserted island; camping is the only option for an overnight stay.   There's no running water; outhouse-style bathrooms are available, but don't expect a coffee bar, showers, or even faucets.

Getting There: Island Packers is the only vendor licensed to take visitors to the Channel Islands, so they're your only choice.   But a good one!   The boat to Anacapa costs $45, leaves twice daily most days, and takes about an hour.   It's not a cruise ship, so if you tend to get seasick take your pills.

Snorkel Gear and Snacks: Island Packers sells snacks on the boat (cash only), but there's nothing for sale on Anacapa.   Snorkel gear is strictly BYO!   As I learned, you might want to bring an extra set of snorkel gear in case you make friends on the boat who decide to join you!

Guided Naturalist Hikes: Free from Island Packers and/or Channel Island National Park Guides.   Or take a self-guided tour using the free booklets available at the trailhead.   The sole trail on the island takes about 1 and 1/2 hours going at a pokey, enjoying-the-scenery kinda pace.   Expect to see Chumash Indian sites, tons of sea birds, sea lion habitats, and awesome vistas.

Kayaking: You can rent a kayak for about $55/day; Island Packers will haul the kayaks over for you at no charge, but once they drop you off you're on your own, so don't make this your first day in a kayak...unless you bring along a sexy water baby to show you the ropes!

This popular Anacapa kayak destination is about a 45-min paddle from the main dock:


But the most popular trek for kayakers is Anacapa's famous arch (just a 15-min paddle from the main dock):


My 2-day getaway only cost about $150, including luxe lodging, gas, food, and fun.   Cheap frills!

You can find all my pix of Oxnard and Anacapa on my Oxnard Anacapa Photobucket Album.   For prime viewing, use the "slideshow" button in the top right hand corner and set the slideshow speed to "slow".   Happy Trails!

District 9: 3 Betty Stars

Okay, so as of August 2009, "District 9" has made it up to the top 50 "Best Films Ever", at least according to some mystifyingly-credited ranking on IMDB (the Internet Movie Database).

Take that for what it's worth,,,

"Inglorious Basterds" is currently ranked 10 slots higher than "District 9"...and "Basturds" is definitely not 10 slots higher anything than "District 9", not 10 slots higher story, not 10 slots higher filmming technique, not even 10 slots higher acting (and that's pitting "District 9's" FX actors against "Basterds" live-action actors).

That said, anyone who needs to see "District 9" in the theater will never even read this review because 1) They've already seen "District 9" in the theater", and 2) They don't give a damn what I say because who the hell am I and what do I know about science fiction?

Yeah, it's that kind of film.

"Stop right there!  I'm with the GOVERNMENT, yeah?  See my badge?"  "Click blurp sclorp sklurr!"

So this review is for those of you who, like me, didn't wait in line to see trailers for "District 9" at Comic-Con and are thinking that maybe, possibly, if there's time, we'll catch it in the theater if it's still playing in a second-run first-run region somwhere (like Oxnard), or, whatever, just ordering it from Netflix sometime next year in hopes of upping our chance at winning the office Oscar pool.

In other words, normal earthlings.

So I'll say right now that I liked the film okay, but just know that whatever you hear about "District 9", whether you actually see it, just hear people talking about it, or only ever read lame blogs about it, all you need to know about it is this: "Christopher".  He's an alien, sure.  He's creepy, yeah.  He can't even think without waving his tentacles.  Ew!  He's ugly, I can't disagree.  He's the ugliest guy you'll ever want to know more about since David Cronenberg's film version of William S. Burroughs' literary version of the cockroach he saw the day he had that really bad acid trip.

...but you'll LOVE him!

Which is what makes "District 9" so much fun!  Kiss, kiss, Christopher!!!

"District 9" star "Christopher" (animated by Weta Workshop, voiced by SA's Jason Cope)

Plot: A nerdy bureaucrat ordered to relocate a bunch of irritated aliens from one nasty ghetto to another nasty ghetto becomes the center of a secret military plot, forcing him to choose between creepy aliens and his own creepy government...Guess which side he chooses!  Crazy futuristic robot v. human mass murder/SciFi philosophical pathos ensues.

To Its Credit: Exec Produced by New Zealand's Peter Jackson, the Kiwi director I want to breed with who brought us "Lord of the Rings", "King Kong", "Dead Alive", and the biopic that introduced a fetching, evil Kate Winslet: "Heavenly Creatures"; Special Effects by Jackson's own Oscar-winning FX lab Weta Workshop.

Pluses: Because the film is designed to look like a documentary, it creates the most scrappy, detailed, realistic aliens you've ever seen on film, so fine an artistic stroke, in fact, it even makes up for the film's lame third act.

Minuses: By the end of the film, explosions steal focus from the characters you've grown to love.

You'll Like This Movie If You Liked: Alien Nation, I Am Legend, Die Hard, Mad Max, Cirque du Soleil.

I Say Rent It: The finest feature of this film is its heart, and that won't lose much on the small screen.  Plus, the DVD might have some awesome "making of" commentary tidbits about Christopher, so I say rent it.  In the meantime, enjoy "I, Robot" starring Will Smith, directed by the imaginative Alex Proyas ("Garage Days", "Dark City"), and based on stories by Isaac Asimov, a highly creative film that seems to have been overlooked.

Sadly, I've been avoiding blogging for a month now.  I'm in mourning for the camera I lost during the VERY LAST HOUR I spent at Comic-Con this year...and with it all the pictures I took to blog about the interesting things I learned, esp the underground fan insanity over the Brit Com "The Mighty Boosh"...I will recover eventually, and I vow to blog about just what makes people mad for The Mighty Boosh, but tonight I'm getting back in the blogging saddle with this review of Inglorious Basterds.

Here's the Official Trailer for Inglorious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino's bizarre take on WWII.  For reasons only marketing execs know, the "official trailer" features the film's weakest link: Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine, a U.S. soldier inspired to ghoolish violence by Apache Indian guerrilla warfare.

(True geeks will enjoy this Mario Brother's fan take on the trailer: "Inglorious Plummers").

The "Official Trailer" for Inglorious Basterds sez: "You haven't seen war until you've seen it through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino"...

Okay, well I'm assuming that doesn't apply to anyone who's actually seen war.  But if you (like Tarantino) have never been anywhere near war, you might enjoy this romp through genocide, torture, and the kinda chicks who populate the fantasies of seven-year-old boys (indulge your pre-pubescent fantasies along with Tarantino here).

But don't let reality stop you!  War is fun...in a movie theater!

What the "Official Trailer" doesn't show you is the one reason to see this flick:

Sexy Christoph Waltz!  Waltz plays evil Nazi Hans Landa, the "Jew Hunter".  Walz was so evil and delicious as Landa he won "Best Actor" at Cannes this year.  I know, right?  Just when you want to stick a fork in Tarantino, he casts yet another overlooked genius for us to drool over and fall in love with!  Dayum, Waltz is cute!

The film's "Official Trailer #2" actually does include Waltz...for a few seconds, anyway (spot him at 2:08...after highlights of Brad Pitt and Mike Myers, neither of whom will be nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 2010).

Plot: In this energetic, revisionist take on WWII, Nazis terrorizing France face pissed off Jews and crazy U.S. soldiers convinced they can outsmart the "Nah-zis" with white dinner jackets.  Vendetta-ridden violence and film premier chicanery ensues.
To Its Credit: Written and Directed by Tarantino (who earned a Palme d'Or nom for the film at Cannes); Cinematographer Robert Richardson (Oscar-winner for The Aviator); Lots of nice work by a fine cast of actors from around the world who you've never heard of.
Pluses: Great suspense scenes in classic Tarantino style with amazing actors beautifully reciting realistic dialog as the chilling threat of impending violence looms in the distance.
Minuses: Brad Pitt in yet another forgettable performance (and that's sayin' something); Lots of graphic violence only comic book fans will enjoy; Mostly subtitled, a wonderful choice by Tarantino that might annoy some viewers.
You'll Like This Film If You Liked: Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2, Reanimator, Grindhouse, The Dirty Dozen, South Park.
I Say: Wait to see it on DVD.  In the meantime run out and rent Jackie Brown!

After watching Inglorious Basterds in the theater, I spent a weekend curled up with a bunch of other flicks featuring great actors and stylized violence (Thanks, Tommy B!), including Pulp Fiction (Tarantino's Oscar winner!) Layer Cake (Daniel Craig before Bond!), and RocknRolla (Guy Ritchie post Madonna!).

All fine films, but the best by far was Tarantino's 1997 flick Jackie Brown.  Great acting, sassy storytelling, and a plot that will have you chewing your fingernails to the nubs in the last 10 minutes.  Co-starring Robert Forster (in his Oscar-nominated role), Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, and even Chris Tucker!  One of my favorite films of all time.

If you're a fan of Tarantino, Pam Grier, Elmore Leonard, Blaxplotation, R&B, crime novels, or the 70's, turn on the DVD's "enhanced trivia" subtitle track and treat yourself to a second viewing.  You can argue (and Tarantino will admit) that everything he does is derivative, but the fascinating background tidbits on the "trivia track" of Jackie Brown will make you admire the thoughtful lengths Tarantino goes to in his films to honor his beloved inspirations...not the least of which is adapting Elmore Leonard's "Rum Punch" for a black female lead, just so he could cast his life-long love, Pam Grier.

In my book, by casting Pam Grier as "Jackie Brown", Tarantino made up for all his sins against women...and gave us one of the world's greatest go, go, go - suckah! gals of all time!  Boo-yah!

Tarantino's tribute to 70's films and Pam Grier's badass blaxploitation films: Tarantino's LAX opening credit sequence for Jackie Brown (under Bobby Womack's "Across 110th Street")

Bible Spice wishes y'all an extra happy Fourth of July! "

"This was a strange announcement.  Not just grammatically, but also politically." -- Anderson Cooper

A few days ago I posted a blog on the amazing tap dance team The Nicholas Brothers, mentioning how my friend Adrien had explained to me that "swing" is actually such a unique rhythm that on musical sheets composers just write it down as "swing time", and musicians understand that it's the kind of thing that "You either have it or you don't".

Thought this appearence on The Daily Show by author Oliver Sacks (author of the noted book about brains "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat") , talking about his latest book "Musicophilia" makes an interesting footnote:

"You never lose rhythm.  Rhythm is deep, deep in the brain.  Any child starts to keep time or dance with music and that's a purely human thing.  A chimpanze can't dance."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Oliver Sacks
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Just got around to viewing a set of 78 Flicker photos sent to me by my cuz Rikki Hall in Knoxville (editor of Hellbender Press, a newspaper sponsored by the Foundation for Global Sustainability) of photos of our other cuz Will Blozan (famous arborist and president and co-founder of the Eastern Native Tree Society) and his family (featuring his kids, Cora and Aven) on a spring hike in the Smoky Mountains.

These pix were such a soothing vacation from answering proffessional emails I thought I'd share them with you! Freshen up your coffee, unplug the I-Phone, and follow this link to see all the pix on Flicker in slideshow mode. Ahhhh!

Here's cuz Rikki at the "Writing Green Environmental Journalism Conference" in Knoxville, March 2009:


And here's a YouTube clip of cuz Will climbing the largest white pine in Pennsylvania:

(Mom: so glad you can finally see all these "moving pictures" on the Internets!)