During my Poor Man's Island Getaway to Waikiki I was determined to find an authentic Hawaiian souvenir...I'd already finished off my six pack of locally brewed island beer, so I headed for Waikiki's kitschy "International Market"

I soon learned the only thing "international" about THIS market was the many and varied countries the vendors selling Chinese-made souvenirs came from.  But then I spied Pali, a vendor actually fabricating something right before my eyes...

Pali is a wood carver.  He hails from the island of Tonga, so technically he's not Hawaiian, but since he did carve his stuff ON the island, he was a hell of a lot closer to the real thing than anything in Waikiki.  Plus I really dug his stuff:

I finally chose a totem carved out of monkey pod wood with the big tongue: a "protector" totem Pali said would keep all the evil people in my apartment building out of my rent controlled corner unit thru 2009.

At $65 this was a splurge, but came with Tongan mojo.  If you don't know just how kick ass Tongan mojo is, check out this YouTube vid of Royal Tongan Marinesdeploying to Iraq, or this or, if you're really motivated, this.  (why oh why did we ever let Tonga pull out of the Coalition of the Willing?)

But thank god, Tongan mojo is now totally protecting me and my apartment!  Pali's protection totem now enjoys a primo spot in my apartment facing the front door.  You can find him and his sister (she's making leis) at Waikiki's International Market just about any day of the week.

Go here to see pix from my dive off Diamond Head.