Obama's Cabinet Needs a Hot Arab: Here's My Choice
Okay, okay, okay, so there's plenty of African-Americans and chicks in Obama's cabinet. But in these trying times, I'm most likely to be blown up in Santa Monica by a nuke some pissed-off Arab duct tapes to the bottom of a ship docking at the Port of LA in San Pedro.
So I say (as I've said time and time again to every bodega clerk in town since the war on Iraq started) where the hell are America's token Arabs?
Soothe the savage beast! Time to go for the hearts and minds, people, Hollywood style!
We've got to fight back against those Guantanamo/Abu Gharab YouTube videos. We need to start putting hot, bougie, crossover Arabs up front and center on the TV box. We need to make Americans like Arabs...want to know Arabs...want to date Arabs...want to make Arabs the "must have" guest at their dinner parties...and show Arabs that America is the place where happy Arabs go to die! (In a good way!)
We need adorable, funny, sexy, crossover characters who can do for Arabs what Bernie Mac and Will Smith did for black folk.
Obama, step up to the plate! Put a hot Arab on your cabinet! Here's my suggestions:
FIRST CHOICE: HANK AZARIA
This delicious stage and screen star is charming to a fault.
I can think of no better ambassador for "the upside of Arabs"...except that technically Hank Azaria is not Arab. He's Greek...but since I always thought he was an Arab, he's my first choice. Azaria overcame his marriage to Helen Hunt and struck Hollywood gold voicing characters on The Simpsons:
But all Azaria needs to do to make Americans love Arabs (/Greeks who look like Arabs) is flash a little more of this:
Azaria used his own chest to play an annoying French scuba instructor in "Along Came Polly".
FIRST RUNNER UP: FAREED ZAKARIA
Editor of "Newsweek International", frequent guest of "The Daily Show", and CNN's newest hottie, what Fareed lacks in Hollywood hookups he makes up for by being an actual expert in Arab politics. Technically he's Indian, but he could pass, right?
SECOND RUNNER UP: PAUL "MUSTAPHA ABDI" ANKA
An actual Arab, Anka has been spreading world peace with such hits as "Diana" and "You're Having My Baby" since 1957.
What's not to love, America?
MOM'S CHOICE: PAULA ABDUL
Mom votes for making Paula Abdul America's next token Arab because she's the only Arab my mom has ever heard of. Excellent choice! As one of the world's most successful Laker Girls...
and the daughter of a Syrian, girlfriend is ready to shake up world politics!
It's so hard to be the only famous Arab in America!
Who do YOU nominate? Here's a list of famous Arab-Americans to choose from.
So I say (as I've said time and time again to every bodega clerk in town since the war on Iraq started) where the hell are America's token Arabs?
Soothe the savage beast! Time to go for the hearts and minds, people, Hollywood style!
We've got to fight back against those Guantanamo/Abu Gharab YouTube videos. We need to start putting hot, bougie, crossover Arabs up front and center on the TV box. We need to make Americans like Arabs...want to know Arabs...want to date Arabs...want to make Arabs the "must have" guest at their dinner parties...and show Arabs that America is the place where happy Arabs go to die! (In a good way!)
We need adorable, funny, sexy, crossover characters who can do for Arabs what Bernie Mac and Will Smith did for black folk.
Obama, step up to the plate! Put a hot Arab on your cabinet! Here's my suggestions:
FIRST CHOICE: HANK AZARIA
This delicious stage and screen star is charming to a fault.
I can think of no better ambassador for "the upside of Arabs"...except that technically Hank Azaria is not Arab. He's Greek...but since I always thought he was an Arab, he's my first choice. Azaria overcame his marriage to Helen Hunt and struck Hollywood gold voicing characters on The Simpsons:
But all Azaria needs to do to make Americans love Arabs (/Greeks who look like Arabs) is flash a little more of this:
Azaria used his own chest to play an annoying French scuba instructor in "Along Came Polly".
FIRST RUNNER UP: FAREED ZAKARIA
Editor of "Newsweek International", frequent guest of "The Daily Show", and CNN's newest hottie, what Fareed lacks in Hollywood hookups he makes up for by being an actual expert in Arab politics. Technically he's Indian, but he could pass, right?
SECOND RUNNER UP: PAUL "MUSTAPHA ABDI" ANKA
An actual Arab, Anka has been spreading world peace with such hits as "Diana" and "You're Having My Baby" since 1957.
What's not to love, America?
MOM'S CHOICE: PAULA ABDUL
Mom votes for making Paula Abdul America's next token Arab because she's the only Arab my mom has ever heard of. Excellent choice! As one of the world's most successful Laker Girls...
and the daughter of a Syrian, girlfriend is ready to shake up world politics!
It's so hard to be the only famous Arab in America!
Who do YOU nominate? Here's a list of famous Arab-Americans to choose from.
My choice: Reza Aslan. Not only is he great looking, he's a professor at my favorite university.
http://www.ucr.edu/about/inventing/aslan.html
Here's a good bio on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-bLZbkYk-I
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I agree with the sistah above about Reza Aslan. He's brilliant, humanistic, hot, and funny. He's make a fine addition to Pres. Obama's cabinet.
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