Hell-A is one of the most crowded, hostile, and psychologically impaired places I've ever lived.  Yet it never fails to offer up tempting adventures you just won't find in any other burg!  Case in point, my field trip this weekend to Downtown LA to celebrate screen legend Tony Curtis...

...and wander around Broadway meeting the locals.  Enjoy my snaps!

This day spent enjoying my own city's treasures was inspired (as is so often the case) by foreigners.  In this case, two dapper guys from France.  For some reason I can't quite figure out from their website, French nature doc directors Jean-Cristophe Jeauffre and Frederic Dieudonne created Jules Verne Adventures...I guess to screen Earth and Fantasy-related films and hand out awards (...that seem to have little do to with Earth/Fantasy but probably make them very chaud in France!)

This weekend, their Euro homage went to Hollywood star Tony Curtis in a day-long blowout at LA's vintage "Million Dollar Theater" movie palace on Broadway, that hoping-to-be-hip historic drag in Downtown LA.

The Frenchies decided to honor Tony Curtis first because they LOVE Tony Curtis (don't we all?) and second because Tony's never won an Oscar!  Despite the fact that this talented beauty helped make classics out of films such as "The Great Race", "The Boston Strangler", "Spartacus", "The Defiant Ones" and two of my favorites: "Sweet Smell of Success" (where Tony brilliantly portrays a nervous, compromised PR man) and "The Outsider" (where Tony plays Native American Ira Hayes, whose story is also highlighted in Clint Eastwood's "Flags of Our Fathers").

Last Saturday, the Frenchies screened two Curtis classics:  "Houdini"...

Check this out to see Janet Leigh's hourglass hotness (first wife of Curtis and mom of Jamie Lee Curtis)

...and "Some Like It Hot", the cross-dressing classic by Billy Wilder that has Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon hiding out in an all-girl band...with Marilyn Monroe!

Check this out to see the most provacative wardrobe of Marilyn's career!

Tony Curtis the man was on hand for Q&A and to sign copies of his new memoir: "American Prince":
 
Get your own signed copy direct from Tony here at his website, www.tonycurtis.com.

There's just nothing quite like seeing a classic film at a movie palace like the Million Dollar Theater...

The Frenchies went all out to make this day tres chic (said Jean-Cristophe about his gorgeous pinstriped suit: "Believe it or not, I got this in LA!").  They had vintage cars chauffeur the stars...



This authentic Auburn roadster had us all drooling!

...and even hired prop hotties to walk Tony down the red carpet...


But on the left there is the chick that won my heart that day: Jill Vandenberg Curtis!


Just like my Hungarian cuz Leslie, Hungarian Tony married zexy Jill at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas!

Tony's 15 year marriage to Jill has proved to be this serial monogamist's most successful dance down the aisle.  And now I know why!  I met Jill in the lobby of the Million Dollar Theater, but at the time didn't realize who she was.  Down to earth and charming, I figured this chick was just some friend of Tony's from Vegas...cause I'd never seen this hoochie mama photo with her with Tony!

She mentioned she had "a ranch", but failed to mention that ranch is the famous Shiloh Horse Rescue Sanctuary where she and Tony have over 200 horses rescued from abuse and slaughter!  Learn all about Jill's Shiloh Sanctuary here, join her on Facebook or MySpace, or check out Miss Jill and Shiloh Sanctuary on YouTube here.

I realized why Tony had hooked up with an earth mama hottie like Jill after I'd heard him talk in person.  He's fun, witty, and candid.  As one person in the audience said to me: "He's one of the guys who really enjoyed and appreciated all the adventures and privileges Hollywood had to offer back in those days."

But I must add, Tony's Q&A before "Some Like It Hot" was steamy!  Talking about the day he first met Marilyn he said: "She had on this tight dress and she wasn't wearing underwear.  How did I know she wasn't wearing underwear?  Instinct!"  He then went on to talk about a hot date with Marilyn on the beach in Malibu...

I think the Frenchies will post the Jules Verne Q&A with Tony on their website soon, but until then enjoy this recent interview with Tony from BBC's "Friday Night With Jonathan Ross" (it includes Tony's story about meeting Jill!).  After hearing him in person, I can't wait to read Tony's memoir!

The Frenchies honored Tony with their "Jules Verne Legendaire" award, presented by the Frenchies and two actresses from the all-girl band of "Some Like It Hot":

Looking good!

Then Tony headed off to the next stop: the Frenchies' after party:

Tony right after signing his memoir for my mom, with an assistant hefting his award in a big pine box


Up close and personal with Tony's Jules Verne Legendaire Award: Jules Verne as an astronaut in bronze!

It was a fun day, thanks to the exuberant Frenchies, the sweet volunteers of the Los Angeles Historic Theatre Foundation, the warm staff of the Million Dollar Theatre, and lots of people dressed for the occasion, including LA's "Art Deco Society":

For the most part, the "Art Deco Society" folk were nice, but I must say some of them sure did live up to the impression I have of LA Swingles that led me to make my doc about rockabilly and not swing!

Case in point: I tried to snap a particularly cute couple decked out in oh-so-vintage garb strutting down Broadway.  I aimed my camera and said, "You're so cute!  You just have to pose for a picture!".  But instead of posing, they snorted (seriously, they literally snorted) and said: "We don't have to do anything!" and high-stepped right past me.

I guess I mumbled "Except be costumed assholes!" a little louder than I meant to, because suddenly they both spun on their Ebay vintage heels and glared at me with "expressions of horror" so on point with pen-and-ink illustrations from the 1930's that I had to wonder if they didn't practice it at home for just such an occasion of period reenactment (good thing they aren't black!)

I was so scared by their big, Tin Tin eyes and exaggerated down-turned mouths that I didn't dare take a picture.  Instead, I snapped the two guys I cowered behind who were enjoying the Auburn, a cup of coffee, and a can of Hawaiian Punch:


Everyone else was cool.  Here's a casually retro couple who'd never heard of the "Art Deco Society":


Here a couple of hot VIP gays sporting jewelry made by hip Downtown LA artists:


Overall, the audience was just what you wouldn't expect in LA: roaring with laughter at every punch line and applauding for every star's entrance.  But the best part was, when "Some Like It Hot" ended, the crowd burst into giddy anti-Prop H8 cheers at the film's infamous last 30 seconds.

After the double feature, the Frenchies threw a party for Tony at the bitchy belle epoque Edison bar:

...and even hired the Green Fairy to sell flagons of Absinthe and "Henry & June" carnival masks:

But since I feared the Art Deco Society would be poised on every Edison barstool ordering Manhattans in loud, crisp voices, I dashed up the street to the more gamy Redwood Bar for a late night show of the Dave & Deke Combo....where Dave actually gave a shout out to Tony!  "Tony Curtis is also downtown tonight!", said Dave.  "If you don't make that party, I guess this is the closest thing you'll git to a little cross dressing tonight!"

Aw!  Thanks for the shout out to the legends, Dave!

Despite the fact that Downtown LA is now so cool that I could barely see at the Redwood and had to wait two hours to get into the Edison, I still had a grand time Saturday.  I got a "Some Like It Hot" DVD signed for me and Tony's memoir signed for Mom (Tony even drew Mom a kiss!).
 
Plus, I spent a couple hours snapping pix in one of the most visually-rich neighborhoods in our fair city, starting with the corner of Broadway and LA's lost soul:

One of the famed Victor Clothing Co. murals, a tribute to LA native Anthony Quinn by Eloy Torrez


Bus stop safety baby.


Broadway's entrance to Chinatown

Grand Central Market (next door to the Million Dollar Theater)

Little Latina heading for a treat after communion.


Fresh meat for some lucky lady!


They ain't gangstas!  LA metrosexuales enjoying Grand Central Chai power smoothies.


LA's famous City Hall with the jacarandas in bloom!


The newly stylish -- and artfully locked up -- Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels:


Our Lady wedding workers Chad and Chris (Cute Chris tied the knot there and recommends it!)


Bruno crashing Disney Concert Hall

Come visit Hell-A, y'all!  There's always some reason!