For Your Consideration 2009

Once again, I humbly submit my reviews of this year's Oscar bait flicks (click on any title to see the trailer).  Based on what I'm reading in the trades, if you go by my choices you'll lose the office pool!  Whether my favorites win or not, this was a great year for black folk, tough chicks, and film fans!


Betty's Oscar Wish List:

BEST PICTURE: "INVICTUS"
"We're more than just a rugby team now, and we better get used to it."



I'm no fan of director Clint Eastwood.  I find his films slow and maudlin, like listening to Grandpa yammer on about the good old days.  BUT when it comes to the AMAZING TRUE STORY of how Nelson Mandela enlisted South Africa's crappy rugby team to heal his nation's bloody past, turns out an old man is just what you need.  You'll be thankful to sit at Grandpa Eastwood's knee and soak up every thoughtful moment of this inspiring true tale.  Just like Slumdog Millionaire last year, by the time the credits roll you'll be wiping away the tears saying, "Do it again!  Do it again!"

Plot: The amazing true story of how newly-elected South Africa President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) convinced his nation's scrappy rugby team to shoot for a World Cup...and unite a nation.

Pluses: Costars impressive juggling patriot Matt Damon as butch yet soulful team captain Francois Pienaar; Filmed entirely in South Africa; Brief but satisfying shot of a topless Matt Damon.

Minuses:  Despite the film's attention to detail, you won't understand rugby or any of the dialogue.

You'll Like It If You Like: Slumdog Millionaire, Rudy, Chariots of Fire, Breaking Away, Gallipoli.
 
Betty Sez: See it in theaters for a great night out or rent it on DVD and use the subtitle function to find out what the hell everyone is saying.  But see this one!


BEST DIRECTOR: JAMES CAMERON: "AVATAR"
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are not in Kansas anymore"

In 1939, The Wizard of Oz blew away audiences when it dropped Dorothy in a Technicolor Oz.  This year, Avatar director James Cameron blew away the world with his 3D version of the mythical planet Pandora.  Cameron convinced Hollywood to invest $400 million in new cameras and software to manifest Pandora, and we here living off his hubris are thrilled that the man who created Aliens, Terminator, and Titanic seems to have -- once again -- lured people away from their home theaters for a night out at the picture show.

All you need to know is that Avatar is fun!  (Also, this is pretty funny.)

Plot: A tough Marine who lost the use of his legs gets a second chance on the front lines when he inhabits a giant clone designed to take down a beautiful alien culture, only to find himself wondering which world to fight for.

Pluses: A fantasy thrill-ride full of adventure and awesome chicks, including Cameron fav Sigourney Weaver as the smartest guy in the room and Star Trek's Zoe Saldana as a buff princess.

Minuses: Despite the nature-based values of Cameron's Pandora, Avatar's final conflict comes down to a typical firefight led by Whitie.  We pagan goddesses say "Meh".

You'll Like It If You Like: Having eyes.

Betty Sez:  Be sure to see this in the theater in 3D!


BEST ACTRESS/SUPPORTING ACTRESS: "PRECIOUS"
"You're 16, you're still in junior high school, and you're pregnant with your second child.  Is that correct, Clarice?"

Skanky ghetto life, teen pregnancy, welfare fraud, and incest: Sounds like about as much fun as being hit in the head with a hammer.  So not so!  This smartly-crafted indie flick is like a five-course gourmet meal served up by a master chef.  You'll leave the theater feeling satisfied, inspired, and eager to tell your friends all about it.

Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire was directed by Lee Daniels, the jazzy Manhattan hipster who produced
Monster's Ball (one of my favorite films, responsible for the historic and moving moment when Halle Berry became the first African-American to win a Best Actress Oscar).  Under Daniels' loving gaze, the tough story of Clarice Precious Jones becomes both documentary and poem, both confessor and priest to a hidden part of the American psyche, a song of love that leaves you feeling blessed and inspired.

Best Actress: Gabby Sidibe

First-timer Gabby Sidibe just might be the only girl on earth with the subway ticket to Clarice Precious Jones.  She's so good, in fact, it's hard to believe she's acting.  To see why she deserves the Best Actress Oscar, watch Gabby as her bubbly true self on "Ellen".

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique
    
Thanks to director Lee Daniels, the comedian Mo'Nique appears in Precious as one of cinema's greatest villains, abusive mom "Mary".  To appreciate just how much acting ass Mo'Nique kicks in "Precious", watch real life Mo'Nique sparkle on "Ellen".

Plot: The world expands in beautiful ways for a shy Harlem teen who joins an alternative school.

Pluses:  Winner of the Grand Jury and Audience Favorite awards at Sundance; Impressive celebrities (including Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz) show up to shine their knowing light on the story.

Minuses: Director Lee Daniels adds mental white space to Precious with fantasy sequences and pleasant shots of his beautiful supporting cast, but this is a classic fairytale trek into the dark wood, so pack your mental rucksack.

You'll Like It If You Like: Monster's Ball, To Sir With Love, The Miracle Worker, Amalie.


BEST ACTOR: COLIN FIRTH: "A SINGLE MAN"
"This is kind of a serious day for me."

Not to be confused with "A Serious Man", the Cohen Brothers' flick about Jews in 1960, A Single Man is about gays in 1960, starring Colin Firth.  We girls love Colin Firth in Bridget Jones and Mama Mia, but Firth is at his sexy best in this art house flick directed by Gucci fashionista Tom Ford, an artful performance that can only be compared to an Aboriginal chakra massage.  You'll be glad you did.

Plot: Heartbroken by the death of his partner, a suicidal English professor sees the world anew on what might -- or might not -- be the last day of his life (see the film's annoying trailer here).

Pluses: Costars lovely Matthew Goode as Firth's charming partner and talented Julianne Moore out-acting a high-style bouffant.

Minuses:
Endless slow-mo shots make it impossible not to make cracks about Calvin Klein perfume ads; Apparently 1960's Santa Monica has no bears; Colin Firth will ruin you for all other men.

You'll Like It If You Like:  Alfie (the good one), Brokeback Mountain, Before Sunrise, The Deep, The Piano, Modern art museums, Colin Firth.

Betty Sez: Rent it and enjoy your time with Colin Firth in private.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: CHRISTOPH WALTZ: "INGLORIOUS BASTERDS"
"What a tremendously hostile world a rat must endure."

I say Basturds if overrated, but Waltz shines as a villain I'd like to fick.  Read my original review


OVERRATED!
There's nothing wrong with these films (except Nine), but I have no idea why they're getting so much attention.  See these on DVD without missing a thing.

THE HURT LOCKER

Feral cats, wise-crackin' kids, and shaky cameras provide the "realism" for this film about soldiers on bomb squad duty in Iraq.  Apologies to hot bomb diffuser Jeremy Renner, but in my humble opinion all the attention being paid to Hurt Locker can be credited to the fact that America is determined to stay very, very unconscious of its karmic debt in the Middle East.

This is a "war film" for people who don't want to deal with war, as Hurt Locker has about as much to do with Iraq as Good Will Hunting has to do with math.  Eroneously heralded by director Katheryn Bigelow's ex James Cameron as "the Platoon of the Iraq war", the only thing this film adds to the annals of war film is the term "bomb porn".  The whole story could take place in New Jersey without missing a beat.  Expect nothing but a string of scenes rigged with fear and you kept at a safe distance from any true insight.  You'll like it if you like Backdraft, Payback, Se7en, 24, reuptake inhibitors, or Sarah Palin.

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent either of these better bomb movies: Blown Away or Paradise Now.


UP IN THE AIR

If, say, someone like Daniel Craig or Ashton Kutcher had starred in this film about a perpetually single, urbane, 40-something dude who only comes to crave hearth and home after a bunch of perky gals invade his life, I'd be impressed with the "acting".  But perpetually single, urbane, 40-something George Clooney?  As if!  Directed by the same snarky Jason Reitman who brought you Juno, you'll like this film if you like The Squid and the Whale, The Terminal, Oceans 11, singer/songwriters, or sweater sales at The Gap.

Critics are mewing over young costar Anna Kendrick, but it's yummy Vera Farmiga that makes this cliché of white America worth watching.  Enjoy Farmiga in this interview with the only person who wouldn't want to shtupp her after seeing "Up in the Air".

Betty Sez: Rent it for a dull night in, but only as a double feature with Reitman's Thank You For Smoking or Clooney's better bitter turn as Michael Clayton.


THE BLIND SIDE

Basically an After School Special with a nice rack, Blind Side tells the true story of how  Memphis socialite Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) rescues a giant black teen and proves that -- with enough money and moxie -- even scary black folk can succeed.  Ironically, if Blind Side actually were an After School Special, the excessive stereotypes and paint-by-number denouements wouldn't bother you at all!  You'd enjoy kicking back on the couch with a bag of chips and soaking up this amazing true tale!

Real-life NFL star Michael Oher and Memphis Socialite Leigh Anne Tuohy

But in the theater Blind Side can't quite compete with a real "film", and Bullock's contribution is far from Oscar-worthy.  Here's how to play at home: Just imagine any number of other "actresses with moxie" in the leading role -- Diane Lane, Maria Bello, or even a slightly aged Reese Witherspoon.  You'd have the exact same satisfaction.  Yet no one else could play Julia Childs like Meryl Streep or Precious Jones like Gabby Sidibe.

Blind Side is not a bad film, just not a Best Oscar film.  You'll like it if you like Two Weeks Notice, Erin Brockovich, Driving Miss Daisy, or Cool Runnings.

Betty Sez: Rent it as a fun family double feature along with A League of Their Own and the new J. Crew catalog.


NINE

This trailer-friendly flick about a film director searching his Jungian "tool" box is so bad it's not even worth mocking.  Mad hot love for Marion and Daniel, but wait for the only parts you need to see to show up on YouTube in full-length clips: Fergie doing "Be Italian" and Penelope doing "Call From the Vatican".  If forced to watch it at a dinner party, slyly press "mute" during Cinema Italiano to enjoy Kate Hudson's ass without having to listen to her "sing".

Betty Sez: Skip it and rent any of these nine better musicals about vexxed artists: Cabaret, La Vie En Rose, Beyond The Sea, All That Jazz, 42nd Street, Velvet Goldmine, Singing In the Rain, Stormy Weather, or Jail House Rock.


THE HANGOVER

Not bad, but no funnier than I Love You, Man or Extract, not to mention Jud Apatow's Funny People, which is not only funny but also nearly deep.  All four will tickle the gin-suppressed fancy of middle-aged white guys wondering how they ended up in the suburbs.  For you gals who breed for them, laugh along, then make a pitcher of margaritas and watch Clueless again.  RIP Brittany.  We love you.


Well Worth Seeing:

UP

Another adorable Pixar project, this time featuring America's first animated Asian star (cynics like me will enjoy this mashup of Up as Gran Tarino).

THE COVE

Winner of my all-time favorite pull quote: "A cross between Flipper and the Bourne Identity."  Also, winner of the Sundance Documentary Audience Award.  Far from neutral, but a great caper flick about butch environmentalists capturing illegal footage of an annual Japanese dolphin slaughter.

DISTRICT 9

A South African bureaucrat befriends oppressed aliens in this fantastic mix of action, acting, and art produced by Peter "Lord of the Rings" JacksonRead my original review.

BIG FAN

A fun, bleak, art house flick about a football fanatic beat up by his favorite player.  Directed by the writer of The Wrestler and starring comic Patton OswaltRead my original review.

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN AMERICA

A thinking man's "Revenge of the Nerds" chronicling how war architect Daniel Ellsberg brought the Vietnam War to a halt by sneaking a top secret report the American press.  Read my original review.

See y'all at the Oscars!

 

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Comments

  • 1/16/2010 11:48 PM ELECTRIC EARL wrote:
    L.A. moviegoers will be pleased to know that "UP" 3D is back - now showing at Beverly Center. Showtimes this week: 11:45am, 4:30pm and 9:20pm.
    Reply to this
  • 1/18/2010 12:42 PM SF Strangelove wrote:
    Hi Betty,
    I enjoyed your 2009 year in film summary. We disagree on quite a few movies, so here goes:

    Invictus: Its heart is in the right place, to be sure, but the movie seemed too distant from its characters. It never came to life for me. The most fun I had was trying to figure out the game of rugby from the clues the movie provides. Result: rugby is still a mystery, and so is South Africa.

    Avatar: I can’t argue that the film’s visuals are spectacular or that James Cameron can mount a huge project. Still, his “white boy does everything better than the natives” story, and plot problems too numerous to mention, completely spoiled the movie for me.

    Haven’t seen Precious, A Single Man, or Inglorius Basterds, so I will defer to you on these.

    As you say, The Hurt Locker, has little to do with the Iraq War or the larger issues of the region. Perhaps your expectations were for a different movie altogether. The Hurt Locker has a tight focus on the men in a bomb disposal unit. It is a character study and a powerfully effective one. It’s my pick for one of the best films of the year.

    Yes, George Clooney was better in Michael Clayton, which was a much better movie than Up in the Air. Still, Up in the Air is a modestly successful, downbeat critique of hollow lives and corporate America.

    I agree that Nine, for all its stars and song and dance energy, is surprisingly lifeless. Its characters were distant and artificial, leaving nothing to connect with.

    I agree that District 9 is enjoyable. Too bad about the plot holes big enough to fly a giant spaceship through.

    I just post a year in film summary over at my blog: http://strangelove4sf.blogspot.com/
    Check it out.

    SF Stangelove
    Reply to this
  • 1/20/2010 8:57 AM Betty wrote:
    Loved your comments, SF Strangelove! I agree, Invictus kept its distance, but I just couldn't resist that sappy story! I left the theater really inspired by the idea of patience and tolerance, which are two things I need to learn a whole lot about.

    I also loved your "Ahhvaddah" comment, as I agree re white dudes, but I had absolutely no expectations for the plots, so wasn't bothered a smidge. Was enjoying listening to the reactions of the marines in the theater where I saw it in Oceanside...except this one drunk marine who kept making really lewd comment about Neytiri!

    Also, I like your comments about Hurt Locker. Don't know why exactly that film rubbed me the wrong way, except, seriously, if you take out the explosions can you really say you still got a character arc? I still say the whole film could have been about a bomb expert in NYC and it would have been the same movie, Kathryn Bigalow's impressive efforts in execution of the film notwithstanding.

    And finally, just go see Precious! It's really cool.

    Catch you at the Oscars!
    Reply to this
  • 3/2/2010 11:49 AM Anna wrote:
    What are you thoughts on Crazy Heart? I've been hearing good things but refuse to watch it - it sounds exactly like The Wrestler.

    -- Anna: Having a hard time getting to see Crazy Heart...so much male energy!  Like trying to run in your dreams and everything feels like mud...but if you want to see someone who agrees w/ you re Crazy Heart and Wrestler, check this out: hilarious!  http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-01-19/basically-there-are-no-original-movie-ideas-anymore/ -- Betty
    Reply to this
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